The Truth About Why He Doesn't Call.. Plus Some Tips on Keeping Him Enticed!

This is one of the most common questions I am asked. The answer is simple; if the man doesn't call... he has lost interest. Don't sympathize (or believe) a man who tells you that he is busy at work, sick in bed or away on vacation. Last time I checked; they had phones at all those locations. If a man is interested - he *WILL* call.. even if it is a 30 second call to say he is thinking of you. Don't make excuses for him. If it is early in a relationship and a man has stopped calling, pick up the pieces; learn from the experience and move on. Don’t invest the energy in someone who isn’t interested in you.

Men are different than women. If a women is involved with a man and talks to him daily for a week or two she feels they are connecting and she begins to open to him. She begins to think about the possibility of a future with him. But, what is he thinking and feeling? Well, keep in mind that men think and process things in a very different way than women do. First and foremost, most men don't think of being in a 'relationship' as quickly as women do. As a species men generally are more casual going into a relationship. That is one reason why it is a wise decision not to disclose everything about yourself on the first date and certainly a reason not to get physical right off. Pace it. Throw small tidbits to him in the course of a few weeks. Men like a challenge and they are programmed to 'work for the things they desire'. The more 'detached' you are at the beginning of a relationship the more you will intrigue a man. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not saying to play games; but balance things. The more you open at the beginning of a relationship inevitably the more you will chase the majority of men away. Don't ever volunteer to a man that you are interested in him for the first 3 months of a relationship. Allow him the pleasure of chasing you and wine and dine you. Give him the pleasure of wondering if you are warming up to him and give him the pleasure of chasing you - he is programmed to do that! The more he wonders - the more he is intrigued and the more he will pursue. It is genetic with men.. they are genetically territorial and if you pique their interest they will do everything in their power to win you over. If you rob them of this 'chase' - their interest will likely wane faster.

"Men like a challenge and they are programmed

to 'work for the things they desire'"

Then, after 2-3 months.. as he begins to settle into the idea of having a 'steady' girlfriend in his life.. then it is more acceptable to open slightly because he will be more receptive. Otherwise, what often happens is a man starts getting more distant as a woman begins settling into a relationship. Just as the woman feels there 'is' a relationship and starts making inquiries or demands; the man begins to pull away. Sound familiar?

So, it is imperative to learn the basic rules dating and how to entice a man and how to make him *WANT* to be in a relationship with you. Pace yourself. Be a little mysterious. Don't disclose everything about yourself on the first date or even in the first few weeks. If a man wants you to tell him how you feel.. smile and say.. 'I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be...' and leave it at that (gee doesn’t that sound like what a man would say? Hmm!). Once you are really connecting and feeling confident in the relationship - begin VERY SLOWLY to disclose things. Your man will feel like he won the JACKPOT! Every time you give him what he has worked so hard for.. he will hear the fireworks going off in his brain.. knowing he has EARNED the attention you are now giving him!

Blessing of Light & Love!



-Lady Fontaine