Last night (Saturday Aug 14th) I had a return appearance on the Super Psychic Radio Network with Bill Schreiner. I enjoyed the show! Bill is fun and personable and quite informative! Every time I go on the show he has great topics to discuss and I have a great time!! We had some great callers last night and it was an all-around fun show. I am very grateful that I had the opportunity to be on the show again! Thank you Bill & Skye!!
Check out their website (it is lookin' really great guys!!) at: Super Psychic Radio. Achieve Radio has an assortment of other GREAT psychics and shows! Check them out!
Showing posts with label top ranked love psychic america's #1 love psychic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top ranked love psychic america's #1 love psychic. Show all posts
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The Truth About Why He Doesn't Call.. Plus Some Tips on Keeping Him Enticed!
This is one of the most common questions I am asked. The answer is simple; if the man doesn't call... he has lost interest. Don't sympathize (or believe) a man who tells you that he is busy at work, sick in bed or away on vacation. Last time I checked; they had phones at all those locations. If a man is interested - he *WILL* call.. even if it is a 30 second call to say he is thinking of you. Don't make excuses for him. If it is early in a relationship and a man has stopped calling, pick up the pieces; learn from the experience and move on. Don’t invest the energy in someone who isn’t interested in you.
Men are different than women. If a women is involved with a man and talks to him daily for a week or two she feels they are connecting and she begins to open to him. She begins to think about the possibility of a future with him. But, what is he thinking and feeling? Well, keep in mind that men think and process things in a very different way than women do. First and foremost, most men don't think of being in a 'relationship' as quickly as women do. As a species men generally are more casual going into a relationship. That is one reason why it is a wise decision not to disclose everything about yourself on the first date and certainly a reason not to get physical right off. Pace it. Throw small tidbits to him in the course of a few weeks. Men like a challenge and they are programmed to 'work for the things they desire'. The more 'detached' you are at the beginning of a relationship the more you will intrigue a man. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not saying to play games; but balance things. The more you open at the beginning of a relationship inevitably the more you will chase the majority of men away. Don't ever volunteer to a man that you are interested in him for the first 3 months of a relationship. Allow him the pleasure of chasing you and wine and dine you. Give him the pleasure of wondering if you are warming up to him and give him the pleasure of chasing you - he is programmed to do that! The more he wonders - the more he is intrigued and the more he will pursue. It is genetic with men.. they are genetically territorial and if you pique their interest they will do everything in their power to win you over. If you rob them of this 'chase' - their interest will likely wane faster.
"Men like a challenge and they are programmed
to 'work for the things they desire'"
Then, after 2-3 months.. as he begins to settle into the idea of having a 'steady' girlfriend in his life.. then it is more acceptable to open slightly because he will be more receptive. Otherwise, what often happens is a man starts getting more distant as a woman begins settling into a relationship. Just as the woman feels there 'is' a relationship and starts making inquiries or demands; the man begins to pull away. Sound familiar?
So, it is imperative to learn the basic rules dating and how to entice a man and how to make him *WANT* to be in a relationship with you. Pace yourself. Be a little mysterious. Don't disclose everything about yourself on the first date or even in the first few weeks. If a man wants you to tell him how you feel.. smile and say.. 'I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be...' and leave it at that (gee doesn’t that sound like what a man would say? Hmm!). Once you are really connecting and feeling confident in the relationship - begin VERY SLOWLY to disclose things. Your man will feel like he won the JACKPOT! Every time you give him what he has worked so hard for.. he will hear the fireworks going off in his brain.. knowing he has EARNED the attention you are now giving him!
Blessing of Light & Love!
-Lady Fontaine
Men are different than women. If a women is involved with a man and talks to him daily for a week or two she feels they are connecting and she begins to open to him. She begins to think about the possibility of a future with him. But, what is he thinking and feeling? Well, keep in mind that men think and process things in a very different way than women do. First and foremost, most men don't think of being in a 'relationship' as quickly as women do. As a species men generally are more casual going into a relationship. That is one reason why it is a wise decision not to disclose everything about yourself on the first date and certainly a reason not to get physical right off. Pace it. Throw small tidbits to him in the course of a few weeks. Men like a challenge and they are programmed to 'work for the things they desire'. The more 'detached' you are at the beginning of a relationship the more you will intrigue a man. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not saying to play games; but balance things. The more you open at the beginning of a relationship inevitably the more you will chase the majority of men away. Don't ever volunteer to a man that you are interested in him for the first 3 months of a relationship. Allow him the pleasure of chasing you and wine and dine you. Give him the pleasure of wondering if you are warming up to him and give him the pleasure of chasing you - he is programmed to do that! The more he wonders - the more he is intrigued and the more he will pursue. It is genetic with men.. they are genetically territorial and if you pique their interest they will do everything in their power to win you over. If you rob them of this 'chase' - their interest will likely wane faster.
to 'work for the things they desire'"
Then, after 2-3 months.. as he begins to settle into the idea of having a 'steady' girlfriend in his life.. then it is more acceptable to open slightly because he will be more receptive. Otherwise, what often happens is a man starts getting more distant as a woman begins settling into a relationship. Just as the woman feels there 'is' a relationship and starts making inquiries or demands; the man begins to pull away. Sound familiar?
So, it is imperative to learn the basic rules dating and how to entice a man and how to make him *WANT* to be in a relationship with you. Pace yourself. Be a little mysterious. Don't disclose everything about yourself on the first date or even in the first few weeks. If a man wants you to tell him how you feel.. smile and say.. 'I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be...' and leave it at that (gee doesn’t that sound like what a man would say? Hmm!). Once you are really connecting and feeling confident in the relationship - begin VERY SLOWLY to disclose things. Your man will feel like he won the JACKPOT! Every time you give him what he has worked so hard for.. he will hear the fireworks going off in his brain.. knowing he has EARNED the attention you are now giving him!
Blessing of Light & Love!
-Lady Fontaine
How to Manifest Insane Amounts of Money!!!!
Your 'relationship' with money is what dictates your income and your bank balance. Not the economy.. not your job performance or the number of customers or clients you have or don't have. These are just curves, hiccups and burps along the way. We ALL have the ability to create unlimited prosperity and if you are not enjoying the prosperity that you desire then the ONLY one holding you back - is you! There is a Henry Ford quote I often use in my workshops and seminars which says:
"If you believe you can..
or
You believe you can't..
You are Right!"
We think of Henry Ford as an innovator and business man - not a spiritual guru. That is exactly why I use his quote. This concept is a Universal (and powerful) concept recognized by many very rich and powerful men and women. People who have defined what America is all about. There are many spiritual gurus and masters who have delivered a similar message in different words. The words, or who says them is not the important part.. what IS the important part is that we understand that *WE* control exactly what we have, what we receive and what opportunities come our way by what we think and believe.
It isn't only your conscious thoughts that control what you manifest in your life. Your thoughts are controlled by your deep-seated beliefs. If you believe that money is evil, you will find it hard to manifest great prosperity into your life because who would intentionally want to expose themselves to evil? If you believe that 'money doesn't grow on trees' you probably come from a family that instilled strong work ethics into you - but there is a deep seated belief within you that you have to work hard for your money.. so that is what you will create. I can't tell you how many of my clients come to me to manifest prosperity and are completely convinced they have an abundance mentality. They tell me they 'want a better job', they 'want' a bigger house and countless other desires that are filed away in their computer brain as being representations of the success and abundance they desire. SO, WHY ARE THEY NOT MANIFESTING IT INTO THEIR LIVES?
"Money is energy. Money flows INTO your life when there is a cohesive flow of energy within yourself."
The Law of Attraction tells us that 'like attracts like'. A physicist might argue that telling you opposites attract (which in most areas of science is true). But, if we use the basic laws of attraction and want something - what is the message we are sending out to the Universe? Think about it? The answer is 'The desire to have what you don't have actually shifts you into a state of lack'. If we use the basic concept of the law of attraction - like attracts like - then when you desire something you don't have.. the 'energy' or the 'essence' behind what you want is actually 'lack' and that is what you attract. You are admitting to yourself and sending out to the Universe that there is 'lack' in your life consisting of big gaps and holes that are not filled and the Universe obliges by sending you more of lack (not having what you 'want)'. So 'WANTING' actually keeps your desires right out of reach or slows them down from entering into your life. How often have you wanted something so badly (a person or an item) and you want it and you want it and you never get it. Eventually, something inside of you shifts and you no longer want it. What happens? BINGO - You Get IT - it enters your life quickly and easily. You stopped wanting it - so you actually ALLOWED it to enter into your life.
"The desire to have what you don't have actually shifts you into a state of lack"
So, how do we translate this basic concept into a powerful technique that will DRAW PROSPERITY into your life. There are two critical steps to follow. The first step is actually a 2 part step - stop wanting and move into a state of gratitude. They go hand-in-hand to achieve the goal of manifesting prosperity into your life.
"Shift your focus to GRATITUDE"
1. To want or not to want. That is *THE* question! The answer is simple. Shift your focus to GRATITUDE. Once you begin to focus on the things you are grateful for the energy within you completely shifts. If 'wanting' something keeps it away - being GRATEFUL for what you have.. draws in plentiful blessings into your life. Let's take a minute right now to do an experiment. Take a few deep breaths. Now allow yourself to think of something you 'want'. Really imagine the item for a few minutes. Notice where you eyes are looking.. Notice your breathing and body language. Notice where you feel it in (or outside) of your body. Now, let that go and take a few deep breaths and now think of something you HAVE and are very grateful for. Notice where you eyes are looking.. Notice your breathing and body language. Notice where you feel it in (or outside) of your body. Do you see and feel the difference? In many cases people keep the vision of the things they 'want' outside of their body.. just off in the distance. Their eyes may go up or down but most often UP and to the LEFT. When you are grateful for something.. many hold it in their heart or solar plexus.. but definitely the energy resides WITHIN them rather than external to them. Our eyes usually go down. These are cognitive signals that go DIRECTLY to the brain and ignite your manifesting power. What that means is if you are in a state of 'wanting' and your eye movements follow the patterns described above - your cognitive message to your brain is that you don't have the things you desire so you increase your state of LACK in your life. You are 'thinking' about things or 'sensing' them but they are not in your life. However, when in a state of Gratitude this sends pleasurable energy through your body of 'appreciation'. Your eyes are generally positioned downward giving a cognitive message to the brain that you FEEL the joy and PLEASURE in the things you have. You are GRATEFUL for what you have. For your Life. This sends a cognitive message to your brain of BEING WHOLE and PERFECT. The Universe then aligns with this energy and sends you more situations to support this wonderful feeling of joy and your sense of feeling COMPLETE. The message the Universe gets is that you don't 'need' anything so the Universe sends you situations to support HAVING EVERYTHING YOU NEED. That is when we begin to experience the divine blessings we are ALL entitled to receive! Remember, money and prosperity are ENERGY. When energy flows effortlessly through you - you attract prosperity into your life. Every second of every day we ALL have a choice. Consciously chose to align with the state of gratitude. Your life will almost instantly shift for the better. Gratitude is a much different energy than the desire of 'wanting' something and draws into your life love, happiness and prosperity.
Gratitude: Watch your thoughts. Measure your thoughts about money and see if you are wanting or appreciating. If you are appreciating be sure you have an awareness of gratitude. Gratitude BRINGS it into YOUR life. Wanting keeps it just OUTSIDE of your reach.
"Detach from the Outcome"
2. Detach from the Outcome: OK, this is tough part. It requires a TRUST in a higher power. This requires that you have an inner awareness that there is a greater power out there. Some think of this as God. Some think of this as a 'higher force' or even their 'higher self'. It doesn't matter what you call it - but it does matter that you understand that there is some force GREATER than ourselves out there - that we are CONNECTED too. This is a loving, suppportive 'power' that you can TAP into at any time. When you have this awareness and understanding and you trust that this higher power will know the bigger picture and bring to you what you need at any given time. So, you want the 5,000 square foot house in the suburbs, the Hummer, $100,000.00 in the bank and the other niceties. Imagine if the Universe's plan for you is to bring you a 8,000 square foot house, 10 Hummers and $10 million dollars in the bank and even more. Or maybe you aren't supposed to have the Hummer but a Cadillac Escalade. TRUST and allow the Universe to bring you the GIFTS it desires. Don't limit yourself. Just OPEN to the possibilities of prosperity and allow the Universe to work out the details. The Universe SEES the BIG picture. With the way our brains are designed; we can't embrace the magnitude of this. We don't have that vision or capability. So, allow the Universe to do what it is BEST at - bringing you wonderful opportunities that could manifest way beyond your hopes and dreams.
"Allow the Universe to bring the opportunities and gifts into your life
that you deserve!"
Happy Manifesting!
############################################
If you find this article helpful, Lady Fontaine is available to answer your financial, career, manifesting or financial questions.
Blessings of Light and Love!
-Lady Fontaine
"If you believe you can..
or
You believe you can't..
You are Right!"
We think of Henry Ford as an innovator and business man - not a spiritual guru. That is exactly why I use his quote. This concept is a Universal (and powerful) concept recognized by many very rich and powerful men and women. People who have defined what America is all about. There are many spiritual gurus and masters who have delivered a similar message in different words. The words, or who says them is not the important part.. what IS the important part is that we understand that *WE* control exactly what we have, what we receive and what opportunities come our way by what we think and believe.
It isn't only your conscious thoughts that control what you manifest in your life. Your thoughts are controlled by your deep-seated beliefs. If you believe that money is evil, you will find it hard to manifest great prosperity into your life because who would intentionally want to expose themselves to evil? If you believe that 'money doesn't grow on trees' you probably come from a family that instilled strong work ethics into you - but there is a deep seated belief within you that you have to work hard for your money.. so that is what you will create. I can't tell you how many of my clients come to me to manifest prosperity and are completely convinced they have an abundance mentality. They tell me they 'want a better job', they 'want' a bigger house and countless other desires that are filed away in their computer brain as being representations of the success and abundance they desire. SO, WHY ARE THEY NOT MANIFESTING IT INTO THEIR LIVES?
The Law of Attraction tells us that 'like attracts like'. A physicist might argue that telling you opposites attract (which in most areas of science is true). But, if we use the basic laws of attraction and want something - what is the message we are sending out to the Universe? Think about it? The answer is 'The desire to have what you don't have actually shifts you into a state of lack'. If we use the basic concept of the law of attraction - like attracts like - then when you desire something you don't have.. the 'energy' or the 'essence' behind what you want is actually 'lack' and that is what you attract. You are admitting to yourself and sending out to the Universe that there is 'lack' in your life consisting of big gaps and holes that are not filled and the Universe obliges by sending you more of lack (not having what you 'want)'. So 'WANTING' actually keeps your desires right out of reach or slows them down from entering into your life. How often have you wanted something so badly (a person or an item) and you want it and you want it and you never get it. Eventually, something inside of you shifts and you no longer want it. What happens? BINGO - You Get IT - it enters your life quickly and easily. You stopped wanting it - so you actually ALLOWED it to enter into your life.
So, how do we translate this basic concept into a powerful technique that will DRAW PROSPERITY into your life. There are two critical steps to follow. The first step is actually a 2 part step - stop wanting and move into a state of gratitude. They go hand-in-hand to achieve the goal of manifesting prosperity into your life.
"Shift your focus to GRATITUDE"
1. To want or not to want. That is *THE* question! The answer is simple. Shift your focus to GRATITUDE. Once you begin to focus on the things you are grateful for the energy within you completely shifts. If 'wanting' something keeps it away - being GRATEFUL for what you have.. draws in plentiful blessings into your life. Let's take a minute right now to do an experiment. Take a few deep breaths. Now allow yourself to think of something you 'want'. Really imagine the item for a few minutes. Notice where you eyes are looking.. Notice your breathing and body language. Notice where you feel it in (or outside) of your body. Now, let that go and take a few deep breaths and now think of something you HAVE and are very grateful for. Notice where you eyes are looking.. Notice your breathing and body language. Notice where you feel it in (or outside) of your body. Do you see and feel the difference? In many cases people keep the vision of the things they 'want' outside of their body.. just off in the distance. Their eyes may go up or down but most often UP and to the LEFT. When you are grateful for something.. many hold it in their heart or solar plexus.. but definitely the energy resides WITHIN them rather than external to them. Our eyes usually go down. These are cognitive signals that go DIRECTLY to the brain and ignite your manifesting power. What that means is if you are in a state of 'wanting' and your eye movements follow the patterns described above - your cognitive message to your brain is that you don't have the things you desire so you increase your state of LACK in your life. You are 'thinking' about things or 'sensing' them but they are not in your life. However, when in a state of Gratitude this sends pleasurable energy through your body of 'appreciation'. Your eyes are generally positioned downward giving a cognitive message to the brain that you FEEL the joy and PLEASURE in the things you have. You are GRATEFUL for what you have. For your Life. This sends a cognitive message to your brain of BEING WHOLE and PERFECT. The Universe then aligns with this energy and sends you more situations to support this wonderful feeling of joy and your sense of feeling COMPLETE. The message the Universe gets is that you don't 'need' anything so the Universe sends you situations to support HAVING EVERYTHING YOU NEED. That is when we begin to experience the divine blessings we are ALL entitled to receive! Remember, money and prosperity are ENERGY. When energy flows effortlessly through you - you attract prosperity into your life. Every second of every day we ALL have a choice. Consciously chose to align with the state of gratitude. Your life will almost instantly shift for the better. Gratitude is a much different energy than the desire of 'wanting' something and draws into your life love, happiness and prosperity.
Gratitude: Watch your thoughts. Measure your thoughts about money and see if you are wanting or appreciating. If you are appreciating be sure you have an awareness of gratitude. Gratitude BRINGS it into YOUR life. Wanting keeps it just OUTSIDE of your reach.
"Detach from the Outcome"
2. Detach from the Outcome: OK, this is tough part. It requires a TRUST in a higher power. This requires that you have an inner awareness that there is a greater power out there. Some think of this as God. Some think of this as a 'higher force' or even their 'higher self'. It doesn't matter what you call it - but it does matter that you understand that there is some force GREATER than ourselves out there - that we are CONNECTED too. This is a loving, suppportive 'power' that you can TAP into at any time. When you have this awareness and understanding and you trust that this higher power will know the bigger picture and bring to you what you need at any given time. So, you want the 5,000 square foot house in the suburbs, the Hummer, $100,000.00 in the bank and the other niceties. Imagine if the Universe's plan for you is to bring you a 8,000 square foot house, 10 Hummers and $10 million dollars in the bank and even more. Or maybe you aren't supposed to have the Hummer but a Cadillac Escalade. TRUST and allow the Universe to bring you the GIFTS it desires. Don't limit yourself. Just OPEN to the possibilities of prosperity and allow the Universe to work out the details. The Universe SEES the BIG picture. With the way our brains are designed; we can't embrace the magnitude of this. We don't have that vision or capability. So, allow the Universe to do what it is BEST at - bringing you wonderful opportunities that could manifest way beyond your hopes and dreams.
that you deserve!"
Happy Manifesting!
If you find this article helpful, Lady Fontaine is available to answer your financial, career, manifesting or financial questions.
Blessings of Light and Love!
-Lady Fontaine
Why is He So Inconsistent and How Do I Get Him Back?
What do you do when your man pulls back or is inconsistent? It drives you nuts but regardless how many times you have yelled, cried or screamed; he continues to do it! Why does he do it and how do you get it to stop?
The answer is actually simple. If a man feels there is an open door 'in and out of your life' - he'll take it. A man comes in and out of your life for one reason; because you ALLOW it. 'Stop making it so easy for him!'
When he pulls back and you don't hear from him for days, weeks or God forbid - months, you labor almost every day thinking about him and trying to get him back. When he is being inconsistent or inattentive the absolute WORST thing you can do is call, text or email him. That, in effect, rewards his negative behavior. When he finally contacts you - you are ecstatic! You are anxious to speak to him. You change your plans, you free your time, you wait.. and wait.. and wait. When he finally does contact you, you may yell, scream or cry and make him promise not to do it again, but he keeps repeating this pattern.. over and over again.. until YOU pull in the reigns and say 'enough is enough'.
Why does he do this? Well, it is simple. When you reward his bad behavior with 'attention' and 'telling him how much you care and desire him' you reward him for being inconsiderate to you. When he ends up getting what he wants from you - be it sex, attention, words of adoration, (or whatever drives him) that gives him his 'fix'.. so he takes it and then goes back to being inconsistent.
The WORST mistake you can make is to anxiously welcome him back and allow the relationship to go back to where it was BEFORE he disappeared. Again, that reinforces the negative behavior and you make it waaaaaaaay to easy for him. He begins to subconsciously feel that being inconsistent is the best way to get attention from you. You actually 'train him' to respond that way. He gets the attention he needs from you when he is being inconsistent and that drives him to do it. So, YOU HOLD THE KEY!!! Stop chasing him and PULL BACK and watch the changes unfold.
Now, let's look at the flip-side. Some women don't put up with it. If they encounter a man that is inconsistent - after the first time he 'disappears' when they 're-appear' the woman is unavailable, nonchalant and totally uninvolved with this man emotionally. She is 'nice' but 'aloof' and when he wants to see her or chat or have sex.. she tells him she is busy and/or doesn't respond to him for awhile. What is the message a man gets when he encounters this behavior? He quickly realizes that in order to KEEP THIS WOMAN he has to be on his toes and treat her well; with attention, consideration and love. Otherwise, she'll drift away.
Believe it or not, in both instances, the man really wants the woman in his life; so you truly do hold the key to determine how a man treats you.
So the best approach to get a man to be more consistent is simple. When he is not being consistent and attentive; back off. When he resurfaces, act nonchalant and very casual. Listen but don't speak much. Keep your conversations, chat sessions or emails short and sweet. Don't unveil your deep feelings. Don't be an open book. Men don't realize it but they are hard-wired for the conquest. Even hearing that you care and adore him is often enough for him to feel good about himself and then off he goes again - back to being inconsistent. The better approach is to act like he is a casual friend and treat him that way.
If your best friend treated you the way your man does how would you act? Most likely 'cautious and casual'. You wouldn't welcome them back into your life with open arms.
That is exactly the way you should act when a man treats you that way.
DO's: (to keep him consistent!!)
- ALWAYS be positive.
- ALWAYS be happy and upbeat.
- ALWAYS be strategixzing and ONE STEP ahead of your man!
- ALWAYS be smarter and strategize.
- ALWAYS allow a man to chase you and shower you with love and attention.
- ALWAYS allow a man to PROVE himself to you.
- ALWAYS wait before responding to him. When he re-appears in your life don't take his calls right away. Let him reach out to you 2 or 3 or more times before you take his calls, answer emails or text messages. Let it go to vm or just ignore it. Regardless of what kind of message he leaves you (telling you how much he cares, misses you etc) HOLD YOUR GROUND, stay pulled back. Don't give in. If he is emailing or text messaging, allow at least 48 hours (preferably more) to pass before you contact him.
- ALWAYS be brief. When you do speak, email or text - keep all communication BRIEF. If on a phone call, then keep conversation to 5 minutes for the first call and as a rule to NO MORE than 10 minutes (until he is very consistent with you). If emailing or text messaging, answer in 1-2 sentences with very brief wording.
- ALWAYS realize that men learn how to TREAT YOU by your actions. If you stay on the phone with him for many hours each day then he gets all his needs fulfilled and you actually slow down the progress of a relationship. Keep it brief. If it gets really serious with you, then give a little more, but ONLY after you get what you desire from your man.
- ALWAYS be the first to hang up saying you are busy and have some where etc go or first to leave if meeting for lunch, etc. Be vague. Until you have a ring on your finger, it is NONE of his business.
DON'T:
- NEVER call, text or email a man who is ignoring you or is not attentive If the relationship is worthwhile then BE SMARTER than he is. Look at this as a long-term investment in YOUR future.
- NEVER stay on the phone with a man for hours when he isn't giving you everything that you want.
- NEVER tell a man how you feel until he is consistent and giving you what you want; and then dish it out slowly. Listen and let him tell you.
- NEVER believe a man who falls in love with you in 24 hours. Over 95% of the time he is thinking with the wrong part(s) of his body!
- NEVER act mad or angry if you don't hear from him. Act casual as if it doesn't matter. When you get mad and upset, it is a boost to his ego and that alone drives some men to act inconsistent,
- NEVER give into having sex (or phone sex) with this man if he isn't being consistent and attentive to you. If you do, you will be telling him that he can come in and out of your life (for sex) without giving you anything more.
How to respond to an email or text message:
If you haven't heard from him in awhile and he sends you an email or text message, wait 2-3 days before responding. Then be very brief. If he asked any questions in his communication with you, answer 1 or 2 very briefly. You are NOT obligated to give him a full run-down of what he missed. If he is so interested and concerned about your life; he shouldn't disappear for days, weeks or months.
"hey, nice to hear from you. I am doing great, thanks for asking. Been really busy. Have a great week! "
Do NOT reach out to him in any way after you speak, email or text. Yes, this is a waiting game but a well worth waiting game. Retraining someone can take days, weeks or months, but it WILL pay off!!!
#################################
Lady Fontaine was named America's #1 Love Psychic by the International Certification of Psychics. She is a certified Master Psychic and a Certified Life Coach. For more love & relationship advice call America's #1 Love psychic - Lady Fontaine (aka The Love Doctor).
Blessings of Light & Love!!!
Lady Fontaine
The answer is actually simple. If a man feels there is an open door 'in and out of your life' - he'll take it. A man comes in and out of your life for one reason; because you ALLOW it. 'Stop making it so easy for him!'
When he pulls back and you don't hear from him for days, weeks or God forbid - months, you labor almost every day thinking about him and trying to get him back. When he is being inconsistent or inattentive the absolute WORST thing you can do is call, text or email him. That, in effect, rewards his negative behavior. When he finally contacts you - you are ecstatic! You are anxious to speak to him. You change your plans, you free your time, you wait.. and wait.. and wait. When he finally does contact you, you may yell, scream or cry and make him promise not to do it again, but he keeps repeating this pattern.. over and over again.. until YOU pull in the reigns and say 'enough is enough'.
Why does he do this? Well, it is simple. When you reward his bad behavior with 'attention' and 'telling him how much you care and desire him' you reward him for being inconsiderate to you. When he ends up getting what he wants from you - be it sex, attention, words of adoration, (or whatever drives him) that gives him his 'fix'.. so he takes it and then goes back to being inconsistent.
The WORST mistake you can make is to anxiously welcome him back and allow the relationship to go back to where it was BEFORE he disappeared. Again, that reinforces the negative behavior and you make it waaaaaaaay to easy for him. He begins to subconsciously feel that being inconsistent is the best way to get attention from you. You actually 'train him' to respond that way. He gets the attention he needs from you when he is being inconsistent and that drives him to do it. So, YOU HOLD THE KEY!!! Stop chasing him and PULL BACK and watch the changes unfold.
Now, let's look at the flip-side. Some women don't put up with it. If they encounter a man that is inconsistent - after the first time he 'disappears' when they 're-appear' the woman is unavailable, nonchalant and totally uninvolved with this man emotionally. She is 'nice' but 'aloof' and when he wants to see her or chat or have sex.. she tells him she is busy and/or doesn't respond to him for awhile. What is the message a man gets when he encounters this behavior? He quickly realizes that in order to KEEP THIS WOMAN he has to be on his toes and treat her well; with attention, consideration and love. Otherwise, she'll drift away.
Believe it or not, in both instances, the man really wants the woman in his life; so you truly do hold the key to determine how a man treats you.
So the best approach to get a man to be more consistent is simple. When he is not being consistent and attentive; back off. When he resurfaces, act nonchalant and very casual. Listen but don't speak much. Keep your conversations, chat sessions or emails short and sweet. Don't unveil your deep feelings. Don't be an open book. Men don't realize it but they are hard-wired for the conquest. Even hearing that you care and adore him is often enough for him to feel good about himself and then off he goes again - back to being inconsistent. The better approach is to act like he is a casual friend and treat him that way.
If your best friend treated you the way your man does how would you act? Most likely 'cautious and casual'. You wouldn't welcome them back into your life with open arms.
That is exactly the way you should act when a man treats you that way.
DO's: (to keep him consistent!!)
- ALWAYS be positive.
- ALWAYS be happy and upbeat.
- ALWAYS be strategixzing and ONE STEP ahead of your man!
- ALWAYS be smarter and strategize.
- ALWAYS allow a man to chase you and shower you with love and attention.
- ALWAYS allow a man to PROVE himself to you.
- ALWAYS wait before responding to him. When he re-appears in your life don't take his calls right away. Let him reach out to you 2 or 3 or more times before you take his calls, answer emails or text messages. Let it go to vm or just ignore it. Regardless of what kind of message he leaves you (telling you how much he cares, misses you etc) HOLD YOUR GROUND, stay pulled back. Don't give in. If he is emailing or text messaging, allow at least 48 hours (preferably more) to pass before you contact him.
- ALWAYS be brief. When you do speak, email or text - keep all communication BRIEF. If on a phone call, then keep conversation to 5 minutes for the first call and as a rule to NO MORE than 10 minutes (until he is very consistent with you). If emailing or text messaging, answer in 1-2 sentences with very brief wording.
- ALWAYS realize that men learn how to TREAT YOU by your actions. If you stay on the phone with him for many hours each day then he gets all his needs fulfilled and you actually slow down the progress of a relationship. Keep it brief. If it gets really serious with you, then give a little more, but ONLY after you get what you desire from your man.
- ALWAYS be the first to hang up saying you are busy and have some where etc go or first to leave if meeting for lunch, etc. Be vague. Until you have a ring on your finger, it is NONE of his business.
DON'T:
- NEVER call, text or email a man who is ignoring you or is not attentive If the relationship is worthwhile then BE SMARTER than he is. Look at this as a long-term investment in YOUR future.
- NEVER stay on the phone with a man for hours when he isn't giving you everything that you want.
- NEVER tell a man how you feel until he is consistent and giving you what you want; and then dish it out slowly. Listen and let him tell you.
- NEVER believe a man who falls in love with you in 24 hours. Over 95% of the time he is thinking with the wrong part(s) of his body!
- NEVER act mad or angry if you don't hear from him. Act casual as if it doesn't matter. When you get mad and upset, it is a boost to his ego and that alone drives some men to act inconsistent,
- NEVER give into having sex (or phone sex) with this man if he isn't being consistent and attentive to you. If you do, you will be telling him that he can come in and out of your life (for sex) without giving you anything more.
How to respond to an email or text message:
If you haven't heard from him in awhile and he sends you an email or text message, wait 2-3 days before responding. Then be very brief. If he asked any questions in his communication with you, answer 1 or 2 very briefly. You are NOT obligated to give him a full run-down of what he missed. If he is so interested and concerned about your life; he shouldn't disappear for days, weeks or months.
"hey, nice to hear from you. I am doing great, thanks for asking. Been really busy. Have a great week! "
Do NOT reach out to him in any way after you speak, email or text. Yes, this is a waiting game but a well worth waiting game. Retraining someone can take days, weeks or months, but it WILL pay off!!!
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Lady Fontaine was named America's #1 Love Psychic by the International Certification of Psychics. She is a certified Master Psychic and a Certified Life Coach. For more love & relationship advice call America's #1 Love psychic - Lady Fontaine (aka The Love Doctor).
Blessings of Light & Love!!!
Lady Fontaine
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