One of the worst feelings you can experience in life is a broken heart. There is never a good time for a relationship to end; but it always seems worse around the holidays. A broken heart tears at the core of your essence. It feels like your heart is being torn out of your chest. It hurts! So, what do you do when your heart is broken?
I have written up a list of things to do to help ease the pain. Although when you are in deep emotional pain caused by a broken heart it may seem like the pain will never go away, but it will. In time a broken heart does mend.. and life does go on. But, what do we do in the meantime?
1. Treat yourself with kindness. Allow yourself to see the big picture. As we begin to deal with the 'loss' of the relationship we begin a grieving process. The first stages of grieving - we blame ourselves. Keep in mind that it takes two people to be in a relationship and if a relationship fails - both partners have some responsibility. A serious relationship does not end because of something trivial you said, or did. Your partner may use that as an excuse; but the roots of the problem were planted long before the final break-up. Relationships end because communication is lacking or because two people are not compatible. Sometimes relationships end because your partner isn't 'ready' to be in a relationship, needs some space, falls out of love with you or a host of other reasons. Understand and recognize that it takes 'two to tango' and if the relationship ends - not just one partner is to blame, so if you catch yourself blaming yourself, STOP!!
2. Talk to someone. A friend, a therapist, anyone who will listen. The best thing you can do is verbalize what you are feeling. The worst thing you can do is just let it brew inside of you.
3. Write the person a letter expressing your feelings and all the reasons you feel hurt; but don't mail the letter.
4. Allow yourself to feel. CRY! YELL! SHOUT! SCREAM!! Let the emotion surface and get it out! It is okay to feel miserable and gloomy - if you allow yourself to express the sadness you feel, the pain will pass quicker. There are steps of healing. At the beginning stages it is important to allow yourself to feel the pain. The first stages of healing you will blame yourself and wish you did things differently but that stage will pass. As you begin to heal, the pain turns to anger and eventually leaves. These are all normal stages of healing. There are 12-step programs designed to walk you through the stages of healing.. that is a very good place to start.
5. Pound a pillow. Yes, you heard me - this is one of the best ways to release pent up emotions.
6. Spend time with friends. Even though you may not be in the mood to be social or be with friends - do your best to spend time with friends or family. Don't allow yourself to be alone all the time.
7. Turn your attention to your career and work responsibilities, friends, your pets, etc. Find joy in your daily routine.
8. Plan your day. Sit down with pad and paper in hand. Make a list of things you have always loved to do. Jot down at least 10 items. Now, grab a calendar or appointment book.. and begin working out a schedule for yourself. Plan your day from the moment you wake up until the minute you go to sleep. Put down everything. This is an imperative step to helping you survive the initial days of a broken relationship. The goal is to fill your day completely. The worst thing is to be alone and feel lonely and abandoned.
9. Go places. Go the the library, art gallery, museum, shopping, football game.. find things to do that you have always enjoyed. I want you to go and do it! Don't worry about feeling sad, you'd be surprised - especially this time of the year the christmas carols and lights and decorations might help lift your mood. Do NOT go to places where you and your ex went - explore and find new places!
10. Decorate for the holidays. Go shopping. Plan a decorate the tree party with close friends.
11. VOLUNTEER. Call your local charities. Most of the charities will welcome your help. You'll be amazed to find that as you help others, your pain will begin to heal.
12. Don't rush things.. your healing process will take as long as you need it to take.
13. Do the above steps even if you are not in the mood or if you feel like you are just going through the motions.
14. Call me. I am a Certified Love Psychic and Life Coach. My clients call me The Love Doctor. There *IS* life and happiness after a failed relationship. Before you know it you will be living your life to its fullest!
Blessings of Light & Love!
-Lady Fontaine
Showing posts with label top ranked psychic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top ranked psychic. Show all posts
Saturday, April 25, 2009
How to Win at Love and Life...
The Universe has very simple rules. You ‘get’ what you feel you are ‘worthy’ of. Henry Ford said it perfectly with these words:
"If you believe you can or
You believe you can’t
--- You’re right!"
-Henry Ford
So, how do you apply this concept to your love lives? Many of your ‘deep beliefs’ are so ingrained within you that you don’t even realize you have them. Some examples are: money doesn’t grow on trees, good girls should be seen and not heard, big boys don’t cry, no one will ever love you, and a face only a mother could love. Familiar?
You’ve all been told similar things when growing up. But how do these limiting beliefs really shape your lives? It is simple and a very natural way of life. As children you want to please your parents. Your parents tell you things.. you believe it. You want the praise, love and acceptance of your parents or care-takers so you do things that you know they will approve of. After time, you begin to accept these ‘things’ as truths. For example, if you get a hug and kiss every time you stop crying.. you begin to learn that expressing emotions and crying is NOT rewarded; but to stop crying is rewarded therefore the belief may become that ‘expressing emotions is not acceptable’. Add to that, your parents tell you: ‘what a good girl’ when you stop crying, so that further reinforces to you that it is a bad thing to show emotion. Another example is.. let’s say a young boy is artistic. But, his dad wants him to play sports. He takes him outside to catch balls. Every time the boy does something that the father wants – he rewards him. ‘hey son, that was great, let’s go get ice cream’. Every time the boy does something the father does not approve of, he gets negative input: ‘Son, why are you always drawing pictures and acting like a sissy, let’s go outside and catch some balls and act like a real man!’ Over time, these words and actions become ingrained within the boy and he begins to believe them. To make matters worse, he now has this inner conflict because he wants to draw and design things, but his father wants him to do something else.. so he shoves his true desires aside and does what his dad wants him to do.. and conflict and resentment sets in. All these thoughts become a part of your belief structure. So, the boy who might have been destined to be a top architect or artist.. might grow up trying to please his father and being a mediocre macho man; instead of allowing his natural artistic qualities to blossom. The example I used above also shows why so many Americans have weight problems; as children you are rewarded for ‘eating everything on your plate’ and ‘food’ is often used as a reward (as I used as an example with the boy and the ice cream). All of these things mold and shape you into the adults you are today.
Science has not completely figured out where thoughts come from. The consensus by psychologists is your thoughts are generated by your beliefs. So, if you believe you are worthy of something, you will THINK THOUGHTS TO SUPPORT THAT BELIEF and draw it into your lives; but if you don’t; you won’t. You might wonder how you really know what thoughts are limiting you. Fortunately, it is easier than you may think. Many of you say things like.. ‘I can’t do that!’ If you catch yourself saying something like that ask yourself 2 things: 1) Can’t do what? And when you identify what it is that you ‘can’t do’.. ask yourself 2) Why? You may discover that you ‘realize’ that you can’t do it because you were always told you couldn’t.. and as you become aware of that – and consciously allow yourself to do it.. you empower yourself as you break old habits and shatter limiting beliefs. Let’s look at this example. Let’s assume that you catch a thought that says: ‘you can’t get that high paying job’ [and let’s assume this is the IDEAL job that you have you have waited your entire life for]. So, you catch the thought and ask yourself: ‘Can’t do what?’ You respond: ‘get the high paying job silly!’ You then ask yourself: ‘Why not?’ [you may have to ask yourself 10 times, 20 times, a hundred times or a million times..] but keep asking until you get an answer.. because you WILL! If you suddenly start remembering how your mom always told you ‘you can’t do that!’ hold that thought because that is the defining experience that ‘set’ your belief. As you recall your mom saying that.. reflect on what you wanted to do as a child that she told you not to do.. and imagine that you allow yourself to do it.. and that your mom is supportive that you did what you wanted! Feel the JOY of experiencing what you have wanted to experience all these years! BRAVO!!!
So, how does this all play into getting the love you deserve? Simple. You ‘allow’ yourself to have the love (money, success, attention, etc) that you feel you are worthy of. There is NO way around that. So, take a minute and look at your OUTER WORLD. Your OUTER WORLD is a REFLECTION OF YOUR INNER WORLD. What is your outer world telling you? Is your life filled with love? Money? Success? Happiness? For the majority of you.. the answer is no. And the reason is simple.. because along the way you have lost yourselves. As children you are told not to focus on your own needs – to focus on others. By doing that, you put yourselves second and IGNORE your own needs and satisfy others. The ‘energy’ that radiates to the universe is ‘I am not important’.. and the universe is actually a very powerful, nonjudgmental ‘mirror’. What you radiate.. it returns to you 100-fold++++. So, when you radiate that energy (message) to the universe that YOUR DESIRES ARE NOT IMPORTANT,, the universe sends more of that back to you. When you radiate energy (messages) to the universe that you are WORTHY.. the universe multiplies that 100+++fold and sends you more and more!
So, how do you change the energy you radiate? The first thing you need to do is realize that each thought has a duality. I work with hundreds of people each year and they tell me: But Lady Fontaine, I *AM* thinking positive.’ I then ask them to tell me what they are thinking about. They often tell me they are thinking about ‘one-day’ having a certain person in their lives, certain job, etc. If you think about some future time when life will be better for you the MESSAGE the Universe gets is: Right now.. you have NO ONE and NOTHING and the universe’s job is to provide you with that 100 fold.. so it keeps you in that energy. THE SECRET teaches you to THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS but listen very carefully to my words... ‘You can think these thoughts from now until eternity but until you truly believe them – you will remain stuck and unhappy inside.’
These are examples of some basic (but GREAT) Affirmations:
I AM HAPPY
I AM LOVED
I AM WEALTHY
But, if you really don’t believe those words; nothing will ever change. I don’t care how diligent you are in telling yourself over and over again all these positive affirmations if you don’t feel it and believe it – it won’t happen. The ONLY way to FEEL them is to DISCOVER the underlying ‘limiting’ belief and acknowledge it.
"If you believe you can or
You believe you can’t
--- You’re right!"
-Henry Ford
So, how do you apply this concept to your love lives? Many of your ‘deep beliefs’ are so ingrained within you that you don’t even realize you have them. Some examples are: money doesn’t grow on trees, good girls should be seen and not heard, big boys don’t cry, no one will ever love you, and a face only a mother could love. Familiar?
You’ve all been told similar things when growing up. But how do these limiting beliefs really shape your lives? It is simple and a very natural way of life. As children you want to please your parents. Your parents tell you things.. you believe it. You want the praise, love and acceptance of your parents or care-takers so you do things that you know they will approve of. After time, you begin to accept these ‘things’ as truths. For example, if you get a hug and kiss every time you stop crying.. you begin to learn that expressing emotions and crying is NOT rewarded; but to stop crying is rewarded therefore the belief may become that ‘expressing emotions is not acceptable’. Add to that, your parents tell you: ‘what a good girl’ when you stop crying, so that further reinforces to you that it is a bad thing to show emotion. Another example is.. let’s say a young boy is artistic. But, his dad wants him to play sports. He takes him outside to catch balls. Every time the boy does something that the father wants – he rewards him. ‘hey son, that was great, let’s go get ice cream’. Every time the boy does something the father does not approve of, he gets negative input: ‘Son, why are you always drawing pictures and acting like a sissy, let’s go outside and catch some balls and act like a real man!’ Over time, these words and actions become ingrained within the boy and he begins to believe them. To make matters worse, he now has this inner conflict because he wants to draw and design things, but his father wants him to do something else.. so he shoves his true desires aside and does what his dad wants him to do.. and conflict and resentment sets in. All these thoughts become a part of your belief structure. So, the boy who might have been destined to be a top architect or artist.. might grow up trying to please his father and being a mediocre macho man; instead of allowing his natural artistic qualities to blossom. The example I used above also shows why so many Americans have weight problems; as children you are rewarded for ‘eating everything on your plate’ and ‘food’ is often used as a reward (as I used as an example with the boy and the ice cream). All of these things mold and shape you into the adults you are today.
Science has not completely figured out where thoughts come from. The consensus by psychologists is your thoughts are generated by your beliefs. So, if you believe you are worthy of something, you will THINK THOUGHTS TO SUPPORT THAT BELIEF and draw it into your lives; but if you don’t; you won’t. You might wonder how you really know what thoughts are limiting you. Fortunately, it is easier than you may think. Many of you say things like.. ‘I can’t do that!’ If you catch yourself saying something like that ask yourself 2 things: 1) Can’t do what? And when you identify what it is that you ‘can’t do’.. ask yourself 2) Why? You may discover that you ‘realize’ that you can’t do it because you were always told you couldn’t.. and as you become aware of that – and consciously allow yourself to do it.. you empower yourself as you break old habits and shatter limiting beliefs. Let’s look at this example. Let’s assume that you catch a thought that says: ‘you can’t get that high paying job’ [and let’s assume this is the IDEAL job that you have you have waited your entire life for]. So, you catch the thought and ask yourself: ‘Can’t do what?’ You respond: ‘get the high paying job silly!’ You then ask yourself: ‘Why not?’ [you may have to ask yourself 10 times, 20 times, a hundred times or a million times..] but keep asking until you get an answer.. because you WILL! If you suddenly start remembering how your mom always told you ‘you can’t do that!’ hold that thought because that is the defining experience that ‘set’ your belief. As you recall your mom saying that.. reflect on what you wanted to do as a child that she told you not to do.. and imagine that you allow yourself to do it.. and that your mom is supportive that you did what you wanted! Feel the JOY of experiencing what you have wanted to experience all these years! BRAVO!!!
So, how does this all play into getting the love you deserve? Simple. You ‘allow’ yourself to have the love (money, success, attention, etc) that you feel you are worthy of. There is NO way around that. So, take a minute and look at your OUTER WORLD. Your OUTER WORLD is a REFLECTION OF YOUR INNER WORLD. What is your outer world telling you? Is your life filled with love? Money? Success? Happiness? For the majority of you.. the answer is no. And the reason is simple.. because along the way you have lost yourselves. As children you are told not to focus on your own needs – to focus on others. By doing that, you put yourselves second and IGNORE your own needs and satisfy others. The ‘energy’ that radiates to the universe is ‘I am not important’.. and the universe is actually a very powerful, nonjudgmental ‘mirror’. What you radiate.. it returns to you 100-fold++++. So, when you radiate that energy (message) to the universe that YOUR DESIRES ARE NOT IMPORTANT,, the universe sends more of that back to you. When you radiate energy (messages) to the universe that you are WORTHY.. the universe multiplies that 100+++fold and sends you more and more!
So, how do you change the energy you radiate? The first thing you need to do is realize that each thought has a duality. I work with hundreds of people each year and they tell me: But Lady Fontaine, I *AM* thinking positive.’ I then ask them to tell me what they are thinking about. They often tell me they are thinking about ‘one-day’ having a certain person in their lives, certain job, etc. If you think about some future time when life will be better for you the MESSAGE the Universe gets is: Right now.. you have NO ONE and NOTHING and the universe’s job is to provide you with that 100 fold.. so it keeps you in that energy. THE SECRET teaches you to THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS but listen very carefully to my words... ‘You can think these thoughts from now until eternity but until you truly believe them – you will remain stuck and unhappy inside.’
These are examples of some basic (but GREAT) Affirmations:
I AM HAPPY
I AM LOVED
I AM WEALTHY
But, if you really don’t believe those words; nothing will ever change. I don’t care how diligent you are in telling yourself over and over again all these positive affirmations if you don’t feel it and believe it – it won’t happen. The ONLY way to FEEL them is to DISCOVER the underlying ‘limiting’ belief and acknowledge it.
You Only Need One Person to Fix a Relationship..
You only need one person to fix a relationship! That is not a typo - it is FACT.. Reality.. the way it is!!! You may ask: 'How can that be? My boy or girlfriend or spouse is treating me badly or cheating on me or not supporting me. How can I fix that myself?' The answer is simple.. FIX YOURSELF!!!
So, what does that really mean? Our outer lives are a reflection of what is going on inside of us. So, if you are in a love-less relationship or if a mate/partner is cheating on you - the place to look is NOT at them.. but within yourself. Why? In order for us to be experiencing any relationship issues the fact is you are resonating at that VERY SAME frequency yourself. If you are in a love-less relationship; you are not loving yourself. If you are in a relationship where your partner does not respect you - you are not respecting yourself. If your partner is ignoring your needs then you are ignoring your own needs.
The one-liner from the movie Jerry McGuire became a popular phrase between lovers several years back; 'you complete me'. Actually.. our job is to COMPLETE OURSELVES. When you 'need' a lover (or anyone) to complete you - you are allowing holes and an emptiness to surround and embody YOU. Complete yourself. Make yourself whole. Re-connected with your 'higher-self' and your 'inner child'. If you feel empty inside that is a wake-up call that you are neglecting your own needs in some way; hence your partner is too.
Accepting this as TRUTH allows you to fix your relationships with yourself and your partner!
So, what does that really mean? Our outer lives are a reflection of what is going on inside of us. So, if you are in a love-less relationship or if a mate/partner is cheating on you - the place to look is NOT at them.. but within yourself. Why? In order for us to be experiencing any relationship issues the fact is you are resonating at that VERY SAME frequency yourself. If you are in a love-less relationship; you are not loving yourself. If you are in a relationship where your partner does not respect you - you are not respecting yourself. If your partner is ignoring your needs then you are ignoring your own needs.
The one-liner from the movie Jerry McGuire became a popular phrase between lovers several years back; 'you complete me'. Actually.. our job is to COMPLETE OURSELVES. When you 'need' a lover (or anyone) to complete you - you are allowing holes and an emptiness to surround and embody YOU. Complete yourself. Make yourself whole. Re-connected with your 'higher-self' and your 'inner child'. If you feel empty inside that is a wake-up call that you are neglecting your own needs in some way; hence your partner is too.
Accepting this as TRUTH allows you to fix your relationships with yourself and your partner!
The Truth About Why He Doesn't Call.. Plus Some Tips on Keeping Him Enticed!
This is one of the most common questions I am asked. The answer is simple; if the man doesn't call... he has lost interest. Don't sympathize (or believe) a man who tells you that he is busy at work, sick in bed or away on vacation. Last time I checked; they had phones at all those locations. If a man is interested - he *WILL* call.. even if it is a 30 second call to say he is thinking of you. Don't make excuses for him. If it is early in a relationship and a man has stopped calling, pick up the pieces; learn from the experience and move on. Don’t invest the energy in someone who isn’t interested in you.
Men are different than women. If a women is involved with a man and talks to him daily for a week or two she feels they are connecting and she begins to open to him. She begins to think about the possibility of a future with him. But, what is he thinking and feeling? Well, keep in mind that men think and process things in a very different way than women do. First and foremost, most men don't think of being in a 'relationship' as quickly as women do. As a species men generally are more casual going into a relationship. That is one reason why it is a wise decision not to disclose everything about yourself on the first date and certainly a reason not to get physical right off. Pace it. Throw small tidbits to him in the course of a few weeks. Men like a challenge and they are programmed to 'work for the things they desire'. The more 'detached' you are at the beginning of a relationship the more you will intrigue a man. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not saying to play games; but balance things. The more you open at the beginning of a relationship inevitably the more you will chase the majority of men away. Don't ever volunteer to a man that you are interested in him for the first 3 months of a relationship. Allow him the pleasure of chasing you and wine and dine you. Give him the pleasure of wondering if you are warming up to him and give him the pleasure of chasing you - he is programmed to do that! The more he wonders - the more he is intrigued and the more he will pursue. It is genetic with men.. they are genetically territorial and if you pique their interest they will do everything in their power to win you over. If you rob them of this 'chase' - their interest will likely wane faster.
"Men like a challenge and they are programmed
to 'work for the things they desire'"
Then, after 2-3 months.. as he begins to settle into the idea of having a 'steady' girlfriend in his life.. then it is more acceptable to open slightly because he will be more receptive. Otherwise, what often happens is a man starts getting more distant as a woman begins settling into a relationship. Just as the woman feels there 'is' a relationship and starts making inquiries or demands; the man begins to pull away. Sound familiar?
So, it is imperative to learn the basic rules dating and how to entice a man and how to make him *WANT* to be in a relationship with you. Pace yourself. Be a little mysterious. Don't disclose everything about yourself on the first date or even in the first few weeks. If a man wants you to tell him how you feel.. smile and say.. 'I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be...' and leave it at that (gee doesn’t that sound like what a man would say? Hmm!). Once you are really connecting and feeling confident in the relationship - begin VERY SLOWLY to disclose things. Your man will feel like he won the JACKPOT! Every time you give him what he has worked so hard for.. he will hear the fireworks going off in his brain.. knowing he has EARNED the attention you are now giving him!
Blessing of Light & Love!
-Lady Fontaine
Men are different than women. If a women is involved with a man and talks to him daily for a week or two she feels they are connecting and she begins to open to him. She begins to think about the possibility of a future with him. But, what is he thinking and feeling? Well, keep in mind that men think and process things in a very different way than women do. First and foremost, most men don't think of being in a 'relationship' as quickly as women do. As a species men generally are more casual going into a relationship. That is one reason why it is a wise decision not to disclose everything about yourself on the first date and certainly a reason not to get physical right off. Pace it. Throw small tidbits to him in the course of a few weeks. Men like a challenge and they are programmed to 'work for the things they desire'. The more 'detached' you are at the beginning of a relationship the more you will intrigue a man. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not saying to play games; but balance things. The more you open at the beginning of a relationship inevitably the more you will chase the majority of men away. Don't ever volunteer to a man that you are interested in him for the first 3 months of a relationship. Allow him the pleasure of chasing you and wine and dine you. Give him the pleasure of wondering if you are warming up to him and give him the pleasure of chasing you - he is programmed to do that! The more he wonders - the more he is intrigued and the more he will pursue. It is genetic with men.. they are genetically territorial and if you pique their interest they will do everything in their power to win you over. If you rob them of this 'chase' - their interest will likely wane faster.
to 'work for the things they desire'"
Then, after 2-3 months.. as he begins to settle into the idea of having a 'steady' girlfriend in his life.. then it is more acceptable to open slightly because he will be more receptive. Otherwise, what often happens is a man starts getting more distant as a woman begins settling into a relationship. Just as the woman feels there 'is' a relationship and starts making inquiries or demands; the man begins to pull away. Sound familiar?
So, it is imperative to learn the basic rules dating and how to entice a man and how to make him *WANT* to be in a relationship with you. Pace yourself. Be a little mysterious. Don't disclose everything about yourself on the first date or even in the first few weeks. If a man wants you to tell him how you feel.. smile and say.. 'I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be...' and leave it at that (gee doesn’t that sound like what a man would say? Hmm!). Once you are really connecting and feeling confident in the relationship - begin VERY SLOWLY to disclose things. Your man will feel like he won the JACKPOT! Every time you give him what he has worked so hard for.. he will hear the fireworks going off in his brain.. knowing he has EARNED the attention you are now giving him!
Blessing of Light & Love!
-Lady Fontaine
The Love Doctor!
Who is Lady Fontaine?
I have been affectionately called 'The Love Doctor' by my clients. I have been a professional Master Psychic for over 20 years. I have hosted an AM Radio Show for over six years in New York City. Many of my clients are long-standing clients. I have written one book and have three that are currently in some state of completion. I have been ranked in the top 5 psychics worldwide for eight (8) consecutive years. (See the International Certification of Psychics website for details)
I have my degree in psychology and have advanced certification in hypnotherapy and thought field therapy. I am certified Life Coach and I specialize in RELATIONSHIP and SELF ESTEEM!
I have been affectionately called 'The Love Doctor' by my clients. I have been a professional Master Psychic for over 20 years. I have hosted an AM Radio Show for over six years in New York City. Many of my clients are long-standing clients. I have written one book and have three that are currently in some state of completion. I have been ranked in the top 5 psychics worldwide for eight (8) consecutive years. (See the International Certification of Psychics website for details)
I have my degree in psychology and have advanced certification in hypnotherapy and thought field therapy. I am certified Life Coach and I specialize in RELATIONSHIP and SELF ESTEEM!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Who decided you were America's #1 Love Psychic?
In December 2008 the International Certification of Psychics announced that I was America's #1 Love Psychic. They base this on the accuracy of a psychic, feedback they have received from clients and the position a psychic holds themselves in the community. One must be tested at 90% or higher accuracy and must have been named by the ICP for at least three consecutive years as a top-ranked psychic. They must also received at least 1,500 positive feedback reports in a 3 month period. They must have less than 1% of negative feedback for the past 3 years. Click here to read their press release.
Welcome to my Blog!
By popular demand I have created this blog as a place for us to communicate and as a reference place for my many writings and articles!!
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