There have been several studies done on Friends with Benefits Relationships which involve surveys of thousands of college students. These are recent surveys (2007). Based on these studies only 10% of friends with benefits relationships turn into romantic relationships. Approximately 1/3 of those surveyed drop the benefits part and end up as just friends. 1/4 dropped the friendship all together and approximately 1/3 of the friends with benefits continued indefinitely. Amazingly, over 75% of those surveyed in friends with benefits relationships did not have 'relationship' discussions with their partner after entering into this type of arrangement.
According to this 2007 study by Michigan State University those 'friends' who were able to talk openly and honestly before entering a friends with benefits relationship often breaks down and very little communication ensues. While not statistically significant, this study showed that “men focus on the benefits, women on the friends” aspect of the friends with benefits relationship.
So, why do singles enter into these relationships? Usually loneliness or the desire to create something more than just friends. These relationships appear 'safe' on the surface and participants often feel that it is better than just sleeping around. Engaging in a 'friends with benefits' arrangement allows for the physical gratification of a relationship without the commitment. These relationships offer what appears to be the best of both worlds where both partners lead their own lives and are not obligated to the other; which sounds enticing to some but so often one of the partners secretly craves for more. Friends with benefits relationships usually doesn't work out for either party. These arrangements often do not produce lasting or meaningful results and tend to run their course very quickly.
Women and some men have difficulty with physical intimacy without the emotional connection. This can set up one or both individuals for more than they initially bargained for. For women this type of relationship is much harder to maintain because of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone and neurotransmitter, released during orgasm. It is the same hormone released in higher dose when a woman gives birth. So, for women to maintain a casual relationship when there is sex involved chemically works against the dynamics of her hormones and body.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
How to Tell if Your Man is Getting Serious
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS THAT YOUR MAN WANTS TO GET SERIOUS?
I am a firm believer in the Three C's: COMMUNICATION, CHEMISTRY and COMPROMISE. These are the staples behind any long-lasting relationship. These along with a few others are the key ingredients to knowing when your man is getting serious.
COMMUNICATION:
A man who is serious about a relationship knows the benefits of communication. He is ready, willing and able to talk honestly and openly and express the good and the bad. Good days, bad days, stressful days and all things in between. Equally, he is interested in you and how your day went, what you feel and what is important to you. He takes the time to listen when you are upset and hurt. He doesn't want to shut you out nor be shut out. Granted, many men are not good at sharing themselves in relationships but a man who wants to get serious finds ways to share and include you into his world.
CHEMISTRY: More than Just Sex
There is great sex but also great intimacy. There is an unspoken language between the two of you. You can be looking at each other from opposite sides of a room and you are in synch with each other. it is undeniable and gets stronger as the relationship matures. It is different from lust that often exists at the beginning of a relationship and then fizzles. True chemistry is always there and builds with intimacy.
COMPROMISE: He is not afraid to compromise – He doesn't always have to be right. He considers your opinion and values it. He recognizes that it isn't just HIS WAY or YOUR WAY - there is a middle ground and he is willing to find it. Even at times when he feels he is right or wants to do things 'his way'.. he finds the way to make that compromise. A man ready to be serious in a relationship knows that a happy partner is the foundation to a solid relationship. Those men that have to be right or have it their way or always persuade their partner do what 'they' want is not conducive to a healthy relationship.
INTERESTED IN YOU AND YOUR LIFE: He gets to know your friends and family
When a man is truly 'into' a woman and wants to get serious he wants to be involved in her life just as he wants her involved in his life. He welcomes opportunities to interact with your family and friends as well as have you involved with his. If he keeps you hidden or as a big secret, the man is not ready to be serious.
REALISTIC GOALS: He's able to accept imperfections:
All too often when a man is only interested in dating, they want Miss Perfect. However, when a man is serious about settling down, he is more open-minded and realistic. He will accept your flaws and more often not even look for or notice them. If a partner is too critical of you, he isn't seeing you for who you really are. That often is a sign that he is not ready to get serious.
PROTECTOR: He wants to be the provider:
Men start thinking about their career future, where they live, where they want to live and start buckling down more seriously with their finances when they are getting serious about a woman. Those men who are older or financially secure will often begin to look at their portfolios in a different way (either to share or protect).
READY: He is talking about Getting Serious.
When you meet someone and begin talking marriage on a first date or even the first month of dating, these are generally situations that don't last. But when a man who has been grounded and real in a relationship and has taken his time getting to know you and allowing the relationship to build its own natural momentum begins talking about settling down or getting married he is generally being sincere. A man doesn't start bringing up marriage or getting serious unless he is ready. Or, if he asks your ring size or favorite cut of diamond, you know he is thinking long-term.
HE HAS TO BE A FIRM BELIEVER IN COMMITMENT:
Some men are truly RELATIONSHIP or MARRIAGE MATERIAL and others are not. Some men believe in commitment others do not. In order for a man to be ready to be serious he needs to believe in commitment. If he doesn't, it won't ever work.
<---------------------------------------------------->
Lady Fontaine is known as America's #1 Love Psychic. She is a Certified Relationship Expert and Coach. She is often referred to as THE LOVE DOCTOR!! She has a weekly radio show on blogtalkradio (http://blogtalkradio.com/lady-fontaine). She gives workshops and Tele-seminars on Dating and Relationships through her website at: http://ladyfontaine.com. She wrote a syndicated love column for many years in the 1990's. Her articles have appeared all over the internet on sites such as aol.com, tarot.com, astrology.com, etc.
I am a firm believer in the Three C's: COMMUNICATION, CHEMISTRY and COMPROMISE. These are the staples behind any long-lasting relationship. These along with a few others are the key ingredients to knowing when your man is getting serious.
COMMUNICATION:
A man who is serious about a relationship knows the benefits of communication. He is ready, willing and able to talk honestly and openly and express the good and the bad. Good days, bad days, stressful days and all things in between. Equally, he is interested in you and how your day went, what you feel and what is important to you. He takes the time to listen when you are upset and hurt. He doesn't want to shut you out nor be shut out. Granted, many men are not good at sharing themselves in relationships but a man who wants to get serious finds ways to share and include you into his world.
CHEMISTRY: More than Just Sex
There is great sex but also great intimacy. There is an unspoken language between the two of you. You can be looking at each other from opposite sides of a room and you are in synch with each other. it is undeniable and gets stronger as the relationship matures. It is different from lust that often exists at the beginning of a relationship and then fizzles. True chemistry is always there and builds with intimacy.
COMPROMISE: He is not afraid to compromise – He doesn't always have to be right. He considers your opinion and values it. He recognizes that it isn't just HIS WAY or YOUR WAY - there is a middle ground and he is willing to find it. Even at times when he feels he is right or wants to do things 'his way'.. he finds the way to make that compromise. A man ready to be serious in a relationship knows that a happy partner is the foundation to a solid relationship. Those men that have to be right or have it their way or always persuade their partner do what 'they' want is not conducive to a healthy relationship.
INTERESTED IN YOU AND YOUR LIFE: He gets to know your friends and family
When a man is truly 'into' a woman and wants to get serious he wants to be involved in her life just as he wants her involved in his life. He welcomes opportunities to interact with your family and friends as well as have you involved with his. If he keeps you hidden or as a big secret, the man is not ready to be serious.
REALISTIC GOALS: He's able to accept imperfections:
All too often when a man is only interested in dating, they want Miss Perfect. However, when a man is serious about settling down, he is more open-minded and realistic. He will accept your flaws and more often not even look for or notice them. If a partner is too critical of you, he isn't seeing you for who you really are. That often is a sign that he is not ready to get serious.
PROTECTOR: He wants to be the provider:
Men start thinking about their career future, where they live, where they want to live and start buckling down more seriously with their finances when they are getting serious about a woman. Those men who are older or financially secure will often begin to look at their portfolios in a different way (either to share or protect).
READY: He is talking about Getting Serious.
When you meet someone and begin talking marriage on a first date or even the first month of dating, these are generally situations that don't last. But when a man who has been grounded and real in a relationship and has taken his time getting to know you and allowing the relationship to build its own natural momentum begins talking about settling down or getting married he is generally being sincere. A man doesn't start bringing up marriage or getting serious unless he is ready. Or, if he asks your ring size or favorite cut of diamond, you know he is thinking long-term.
HE HAS TO BE A FIRM BELIEVER IN COMMITMENT:
Some men are truly RELATIONSHIP or MARRIAGE MATERIAL and others are not. Some men believe in commitment others do not. In order for a man to be ready to be serious he needs to believe in commitment. If he doesn't, it won't ever work.
<---------------------------------------------------->
Lady Fontaine is known as America's #1 Love Psychic. She is a Certified Relationship Expert and Coach. She is often referred to as THE LOVE DOCTOR!! She has a weekly radio show on blogtalkradio (http://blogtalkradio.com/lady-fontaine). She gives workshops and Tele-seminars on Dating and Relationships through her website at: http://ladyfontaine.com. She wrote a syndicated love column for many years in the 1990's. Her articles have appeared all over the internet on sites such as aol.com, tarot.com, astrology.com, etc.
5 Myths About Online Dating
5 Myths about Online Dating, By Lady Fontaine, Relationship Expert and Coach
Myth #1: You won't find attractive, successful people on online dating sites
FALSE! Online daters come in all shapes and sizes and career status, just as they do in all aspects of life. The population of on-line daters is approximately the same for attractive and successful folks as any other venue. In-fact, most attractive and successful people don't find typical pick-up bars, or singles events an appropriate method of meeting people anymore so there is more than a good chance that you will find MORE attractive people online than at singles bars or singles events. In today's day and age online dating is the first choice for most people so you will find just as many (if not more) attractive people on-line than anywhere else.
Myth #2: Most on-line daters are desperate people who can't get a date any other way
FALSE! In reality online dating is now the way to go. Current statistics show that over $4 billion dollars is spent yearly on on-line dating services. That is roughly 40 million American singles using online dating services. There are an estimated 15 million singles in Britain. In 2008 they went on an unprecedented 24 million first dates arranged through on-line dating services. With these enormous numbers of singles hooking up worldwide via online dating services you will find the expected distribution of incredible catches and those that are not right for you! On-line dating is now considered the #1 option for most daters.
Myth #3: You can't really meet good people on-line
FALSE. Quite the contrary. Many on-line sites have developed tools to help singles find compatible mates. Using these tools you can pre-qualify folks beforehand. You can search on similar interests, backgrounds or various other criteria to fine-tune or expand your search. Since so many people are using on-line dating services your chances of meeting quality folks are basically the same as using any other method of meeting people.
Myth #4: People don't use their real photos
FALSE. On the contrary, most do. Many use photos that make them look slimmer or younger (who wouldn't??), but most people do use their real photos. What on-line daters will come to realize after they have done this for while, is that if their real intention is to meet someone then the ONLY way they'll accomplish that is by using a current and real photo. But, as with any other method of meeting people, looks is only part of the package. On-line dating actually gives you the added bonus of learning MORE about someone UP-FRONT than many other methods of meeting someone.
Myth #5: It isn't acceptable to meet someone on-line
FALSE. Thirty years ago I met my ex-husband (and still very close friend) through a classified ad in the Village Voice Newspaper. Back then people raised an eyebrow when they heard I met my husband through a classified ad. But, nowadays, it is the norm for folks to say: 'I met them on-line'. There is no stigma. In-fact, most on-line daters know that meeting people on-line can offer opportunities beyond normal dating. They can meet people from any part of the country or world that they normally couldn't meet if they were meeting people through more traditional methods. Articles appear in mainstream magazines and newspapers regularly with stories of people meeting online and falling in love. In today's society on-line dating is accepted and respected.
<----------------------------------------------------------->
Lady Fontaine is America's #1 Love Psychic. She is a Certified Relationship and Life Coach. Through her expert guidance she has over 350 marriages to her credit. That doesn;t count the marriages or relationships she has saved; which she has lost count of! A vast majority (over 85%) of her clients have met their partners through on-line dating services.
Lady Fontaine is often referred to as THE LOVE DOCTOR!! She has a weekly radio show on blogtalkradio (http://blogtalkradio.com/lady-fontaine). She gives workshops and Tele-seminars on Dating and Relationships through her website at: http://ladyfontaine.com. She wrote a syndicated love column for many years in the 1990's. Her articles have appeared all over the internet on sites such as aol.com, tarot.com, astrology.com, etc. Here is a sampling of her work:
http://www.tarot.com/articles/psychics/text-message-relationship.php
http://horoscopes.aol.com/psychics-articles/true-love-key-ingredients
Myth #1: You won't find attractive, successful people on online dating sites
FALSE! Online daters come in all shapes and sizes and career status, just as they do in all aspects of life. The population of on-line daters is approximately the same for attractive and successful folks as any other venue. In-fact, most attractive and successful people don't find typical pick-up bars, or singles events an appropriate method of meeting people anymore so there is more than a good chance that you will find MORE attractive people online than at singles bars or singles events. In today's day and age online dating is the first choice for most people so you will find just as many (if not more) attractive people on-line than anywhere else.
Myth #2: Most on-line daters are desperate people who can't get a date any other way
FALSE! In reality online dating is now the way to go. Current statistics show that over $4 billion dollars is spent yearly on on-line dating services. That is roughly 40 million American singles using online dating services. There are an estimated 15 million singles in Britain. In 2008 they went on an unprecedented 24 million first dates arranged through on-line dating services. With these enormous numbers of singles hooking up worldwide via online dating services you will find the expected distribution of incredible catches and those that are not right for you! On-line dating is now considered the #1 option for most daters.
Myth #3: You can't really meet good people on-line
FALSE. Quite the contrary. Many on-line sites have developed tools to help singles find compatible mates. Using these tools you can pre-qualify folks beforehand. You can search on similar interests, backgrounds or various other criteria to fine-tune or expand your search. Since so many people are using on-line dating services your chances of meeting quality folks are basically the same as using any other method of meeting people.
Myth #4: People don't use their real photos
FALSE. On the contrary, most do. Many use photos that make them look slimmer or younger (who wouldn't??), but most people do use their real photos. What on-line daters will come to realize after they have done this for while, is that if their real intention is to meet someone then the ONLY way they'll accomplish that is by using a current and real photo. But, as with any other method of meeting people, looks is only part of the package. On-line dating actually gives you the added bonus of learning MORE about someone UP-FRONT than many other methods of meeting someone.
Myth #5: It isn't acceptable to meet someone on-line
FALSE. Thirty years ago I met my ex-husband (and still very close friend) through a classified ad in the Village Voice Newspaper. Back then people raised an eyebrow when they heard I met my husband through a classified ad. But, nowadays, it is the norm for folks to say: 'I met them on-line'. There is no stigma. In-fact, most on-line daters know that meeting people on-line can offer opportunities beyond normal dating. They can meet people from any part of the country or world that they normally couldn't meet if they were meeting people through more traditional methods. Articles appear in mainstream magazines and newspapers regularly with stories of people meeting online and falling in love. In today's society on-line dating is accepted and respected.
Lady Fontaine is America's #1 Love Psychic. She is a Certified Relationship and Life Coach. Through her expert guidance she has over 350 marriages to her credit. That doesn;t count the marriages or relationships she has saved; which she has lost count of! A vast majority (over 85%) of her clients have met their partners through on-line dating services.
Lady Fontaine is often referred to as THE LOVE DOCTOR!! She has a weekly radio show on blogtalkradio (http://blogtalkradio.com/lady-fontaine). She gives workshops and Tele-seminars on Dating and Relationships through her website at: http://ladyfontaine.com. She wrote a syndicated love column for many years in the 1990's. Her articles have appeared all over the internet on sites such as aol.com, tarot.com, astrology.com, etc. Here is a sampling of her work:
http://www.tarot.com/articles/psychics/text-message-relationship.php
http://horoscopes.aol.com/psychics-articles/true-love-key-ingredients
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The Language of the Universe..
I often speak about the duality of thoughts. In order to manifest love, money, health, happiness and all the things you desire – you MUST learn to think and speak in the 'Language of the Universe'. Every thought you think has 2 sides; a positive and a negative. And the Universe doesn’t translate or judge; it will give you what you ask for.
I work with hundreds of people every year.. both as a psychic and a Life Coach. My clients always hear me speak about the importance of radiating to the universe the things you WANT TO ATTRACT into your life. In the spiritual realm – like attracts like. And, my clients often tell me that they are thinking positive thoughts yet they continue to manifest 'lack' in their lives. So, I often ask them to keep a ‘thought journal’ and give me examples. Here are some of those examples:
Stan is a client who was trying to manifest money into his life for countless years before meeting me. He was recently shopping and found himself thinking:
Darn, I have to win the lottery – I just don’t have enough money to pay for everything.
He told me, ‘But, Lady Fontaine I am thinking positive thoughts and I am telling the universe what I want’. He did not realize that he was speaking in ‘lack’. In reality, the words above are telling the universe that Dan doesn’t have sufficient money to pay for everything.. and the universe’s primary job is to HEAR WHAT WE ASK FOR and to GIVE US MORE! So, what will the universe deliver? More ‘lack’ of money rather than more money!
Renee has been a client for many years. She had on-going financial and love problems. She had been doing positive affirmations for over 10 years and is a strong believer of positive thinking. Until she met me she was not able to manifest the things she truly wanted. I asked her to keep a journal of her ‘thoughts’.
‘One day I am going to meet the most awesome man and live happily ever after.’
‘I am definitely going to get that salary increase and become Sr VP in the next 5 years’.
Hmm.. on the surface these look like positive thoughts. But, keep in mind the duality of thoughts – so what does the universe hear? Let’s break it down. The Universe deals with the NOW.. not the future.. so the universe translates that to mean that RIGHT NOW Renee has NO ONE in her life. And, what did we say is the primary function of the Universe? To receive our ‘requests’ multiply them and send us more of what we ask for. So, what does Renee get back? More lack.. She didn’t have the TRUE LOVE in her life nor the job she wanted UNTIL she changed her thoughts.
When we ask for the things we desire.. the universe gets our 'request', magnifies it and sends us more and more! So, the universe heard that Renee had no one in her life right now and sent her lots more. As for her job request above – Renee is 100% certain that she will ONE DAY get her salary increase and become Sr VP in the future and that is where the universe keeps it. The Universe deals with the NOW. In the Seth Books (channeled to Jane Roberts) we learned that the moment of power is in the NOW!!! So, in order for the Universe to understand that either of those requests is meant to deliver LOVE and MONEY into our lives now - they need to be reworded into something like the following:
I AM THANKFUL FOR THE LOVE AND HAPPINESS I CURENTLY EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE NOW
I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE AND MY ABILITY TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND WEALTHY
I LOVE MY JOB AND I AM GRATEFUL TO HAVE IT
Now those are just a couple of possibilities.. there are countless other ways to word things to bring results. But, the commonality of those positive affirmations/thoughts above is the feeling of being grateful. When we appreciate and are grateful for what we have.. we get more. Plain and simple. So, if you don’t currently have the true love of your life.. instead of cursing ex-boyfriends and girlfriends.. be THANKFUL for the time they were in your life. Be thankful for the experiences you shared. If you don’t currently have a job or the job of your dreams.. GIVE THANKS TO WHAT YOU DO HAVE.. and the universe will deliver more. So, let’s take the example of not having a job right now. How can we focus on a positive message to the universe so the universe will send us blessings? A couple examples are below:
I am thankful for my ability to earn money
I am thankful for the wonderful work experiences I've had [this one is focused on gratitude]
I am thankful for the job opportunities that are entering into my life
I am thankful for the business contacts I have
Give thanks and appreciation for the things in your life.. and you will draw in positive experiences into your life that mirrors your gratitude.
So, you may wonder why is it so important to word things in a certain way? Well, it is more than just the wording. When you think negative thoughts and are resentful of a past love or spouse, of a job you hate or a job you lost – your energy is resonating negatively. So, if you stop to think of the GIFTS a person or opportunity brought into your life.. your energy will shift to appreciate their role in your life. The Universe is non-judgmental and doesn’t interpret or decide if you are worthy of the things you ask for. The Universe has Rules.. and the Rules Say it will multiply what you ask for.. and send you more. So, learn to speak the Language of the Universe and Get Everything You Desire!
Joannie had been trying to manifest a new job for the past 7 months. She called me on Keen and we talked. I told her I felt the job was ‘just out of her reach’ and as we talked I heard her dialogue and brought it to her attention. Basically she was saying words like: ‘I know one day God will send me the job of my dreams!’. Now on the surface, this seems like a positive thought.. but what does the universe hear? Since the Universe deals in the NOW.. it hears.. Right now.. Joannie doesn’t have a desire for the job of her dreams and therefore, she doesn’t get it. I worked with Joannie for a few weeks and got her to catch her own thoughts and gently shift the way she thought. I HAVE THE JOB OF MY DREAMS and I AM THRILLED!!! And, wanna know something.. she GOT IT!!!
Understand that the Universe deals in the NOW!! The Universe *WILL* bring you the things you ask for. Your job is to speak the language of the universe to manifest all your dreams. The things you think most about and dwell on are the things the universe delivers to you. The universe interprets that as PRAYER or a MANTRA. Again, the ‘job’ of the universe isn’t to sort through all the requests and decide what is good and not good for someone. The job of the universe is to accept the prayer requests, magnify it and deliver results. And it does.
So, be aware of what you think and how you think it! Word things IN THE NOW! When thinking of the things you want in your life.. don’t think of it in the future.. because if you do.. that is where it will stay. Think of it in your life now. Don’t think of how much you want it. ‘Wanting’ means you don’t have it.. and it stays in the future.. out of reach. But, most importantly, the REAL key to success in your life is GRATITUDE.
Stay tuned for my next article on GRATITUDE.
I work with hundreds of people every year.. both as a psychic and a Life Coach. My clients always hear me speak about the importance of radiating to the universe the things you WANT TO ATTRACT into your life. In the spiritual realm – like attracts like. And, my clients often tell me that they are thinking positive thoughts yet they continue to manifest 'lack' in their lives. So, I often ask them to keep a ‘thought journal’ and give me examples. Here are some of those examples:
Stan is a client who was trying to manifest money into his life for countless years before meeting me. He was recently shopping and found himself thinking:
Darn, I have to win the lottery – I just don’t have enough money to pay for everything.
He told me, ‘But, Lady Fontaine I am thinking positive thoughts and I am telling the universe what I want’. He did not realize that he was speaking in ‘lack’. In reality, the words above are telling the universe that Dan doesn’t have sufficient money to pay for everything.. and the universe’s primary job is to HEAR WHAT WE ASK FOR and to GIVE US MORE! So, what will the universe deliver? More ‘lack’ of money rather than more money!
Renee has been a client for many years. She had on-going financial and love problems. She had been doing positive affirmations for over 10 years and is a strong believer of positive thinking. Until she met me she was not able to manifest the things she truly wanted. I asked her to keep a journal of her ‘thoughts’.
Hmm.. on the surface these look like positive thoughts. But, keep in mind the duality of thoughts – so what does the universe hear? Let’s break it down. The Universe deals with the NOW.. not the future.. so the universe translates that to mean that RIGHT NOW Renee has NO ONE in her life. And, what did we say is the primary function of the Universe? To receive our ‘requests’ multiply them and send us more of what we ask for. So, what does Renee get back? More lack.. She didn’t have the TRUE LOVE in her life nor the job she wanted UNTIL she changed her thoughts.
When we ask for the things we desire.. the universe gets our 'request', magnifies it and sends us more and more! So, the universe heard that Renee had no one in her life right now and sent her lots more. As for her job request above – Renee is 100% certain that she will ONE DAY get her salary increase and become Sr VP in the future and that is where the universe keeps it. The Universe deals with the NOW. In the Seth Books (channeled to Jane Roberts) we learned that the moment of power is in the NOW!!! So, in order for the Universe to understand that either of those requests is meant to deliver LOVE and MONEY into our lives now - they need to be reworded into something like the following:
I AM THANKFUL FOR THE LOVE AND HAPPINESS I CURENTLY EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE NOW
I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE AND MY ABILITY TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND WEALTHY
I LOVE MY JOB AND I AM GRATEFUL TO HAVE IT
Now those are just a couple of possibilities.. there are countless other ways to word things to bring results. But, the commonality of those positive affirmations/thoughts above is the feeling of being grateful. When we appreciate and are grateful for what we have.. we get more. Plain and simple. So, if you don’t currently have the true love of your life.. instead of cursing ex-boyfriends and girlfriends.. be THANKFUL for the time they were in your life. Be thankful for the experiences you shared. If you don’t currently have a job or the job of your dreams.. GIVE THANKS TO WHAT YOU DO HAVE.. and the universe will deliver more. So, let’s take the example of not having a job right now. How can we focus on a positive message to the universe so the universe will send us blessings? A couple examples are below:
I am thankful for my ability to earn money
I am thankful for the wonderful work experiences I've had [this one is focused on gratitude]
I am thankful for the job opportunities that are entering into my life
I am thankful for the business contacts I have
Give thanks and appreciation for the things in your life.. and you will draw in positive experiences into your life that mirrors your gratitude.
So, you may wonder why is it so important to word things in a certain way? Well, it is more than just the wording. When you think negative thoughts and are resentful of a past love or spouse, of a job you hate or a job you lost – your energy is resonating negatively. So, if you stop to think of the GIFTS a person or opportunity brought into your life.. your energy will shift to appreciate their role in your life. The Universe is non-judgmental and doesn’t interpret or decide if you are worthy of the things you ask for. The Universe has Rules.. and the Rules Say it will multiply what you ask for.. and send you more. So, learn to speak the Language of the Universe and Get Everything You Desire!
Joannie had been trying to manifest a new job for the past 7 months. She called me on Keen and we talked. I told her I felt the job was ‘just out of her reach’ and as we talked I heard her dialogue and brought it to her attention. Basically she was saying words like: ‘I know one day God will send me the job of my dreams!’. Now on the surface, this seems like a positive thought.. but what does the universe hear? Since the Universe deals in the NOW.. it hears.. Right now.. Joannie doesn’t have a desire for the job of her dreams and therefore, she doesn’t get it. I worked with Joannie for a few weeks and got her to catch her own thoughts and gently shift the way she thought. I HAVE THE JOB OF MY DREAMS and I AM THRILLED!!! And, wanna know something.. she GOT IT!!!
Understand that the Universe deals in the NOW!! The Universe *WILL* bring you the things you ask for. Your job is to speak the language of the universe to manifest all your dreams. The things you think most about and dwell on are the things the universe delivers to you. The universe interprets that as PRAYER or a MANTRA. Again, the ‘job’ of the universe isn’t to sort through all the requests and decide what is good and not good for someone. The job of the universe is to accept the prayer requests, magnify it and deliver results. And it does.
So, be aware of what you think and how you think it! Word things IN THE NOW! When thinking of the things you want in your life.. don’t think of it in the future.. because if you do.. that is where it will stay. Think of it in your life now. Don’t think of how much you want it. ‘Wanting’ means you don’t have it.. and it stays in the future.. out of reach. But, most importantly, the REAL key to success in your life is GRATITUDE.
Stay tuned for my next article on GRATITUDE.
Surviving a Broken Heart
One of the worst feelings you can experience in life is a broken heart. There is never a good time for a relationship to end; but it always seems worse around the holidays. A broken heart tears at the core of your essence. It feels like your heart is being torn out of your chest. It hurts! So, what do you do when your heart is broken?
I have written up a list of things to do to help ease the pain. Although when you are in deep emotional pain caused by a broken heart it may seem like the pain will never go away, but it will. In time a broken heart does mend.. and life does go on. But, what do we do in the meantime?
1. Treat yourself with kindness. Allow yourself to see the big picture. As we begin to deal with the 'loss' of the relationship we begin a grieving process. The first stages of grieving - we blame ourselves. Keep in mind that it takes two people to be in a relationship and if a relationship fails - both partners have some responsibility. A serious relationship does not end because of something trivial you said, or did. Your partner may use that as an excuse; but the roots of the problem were planted long before the final break-up. Relationships end because communication is lacking or because two people are not compatible. Sometimes relationships end because your partner isn't 'ready' to be in a relationship, needs some space, falls out of love with you or a host of other reasons. Understand and recognize that it takes 'two to tango' and if the relationship ends - not just one partner is to blame, so if you catch yourself blaming yourself, STOP!!
2. Talk to someone. A friend, a therapist, anyone who will listen. The best thing you can do is verbalize what you are feeling. The worst thing you can do is just let it brew inside of you.
3. Write the person a letter expressing your feelings and all the reasons you feel hurt; but don't mail the letter.
4. Allow yourself to feel. CRY! YELL! SHOUT! SCREAM!! Let the emotion surface and get it out! It is okay to feel miserable and gloomy - if you allow yourself to express the sadness you feel, the pain will pass quicker. There are steps of healing. At the beginning stages it is important to allow yourself to feel the pain. The first stages of healing you will blame yourself and wish you did things differently but that stage will pass. As you begin to heal, the pain turns to anger and eventually leaves. These are all normal stages of healing. There are 12-step programs designed to walk you through the stages of healing.. that is a very good place to start.
5. Pound a pillow. Yes, you heard me - this is one of the best ways to release pent up emotions.
6. Spend time with friends. Even though you may not be in the mood to be social or be with friends - do your best to spend time with friends or family. Don't allow yourself to be alone all the time.
7. Turn your attention to your career and work responsibilities, friends, your pets, etc. Find joy in your daily routine.
8. Plan your day. Sit down with pad and paper in hand. Make a list of things you have always loved to do. Jot down at least 10 items. Now, grab a calendar or appointment book.. and begin working out a schedule for yourself. Plan your day from the moment you wake up until the minute you go to sleep. Put down everything. This is an imperative step to helping you survive the initial days of a broken relationship. The goal is to fill your day completely. The worst thing is to be alone and feel lonely and abandoned.
9. Go places. Go the the library, art gallery, museum, shopping, football game.. find things to do that you have always enjoyed. I want you to go and do it! Don't worry about feeling sad, you'd be surprised - especially this time of the year the christmas carols and lights and decorations might help lift your mood. Do NOT go to places where you and your ex went - explore and find new places!
10. Decorate for the holidays. Go shopping. Plan a decorate the tree party with close friends.
11. VOLUNTEER. Call your local charities. Most of the charities will welcome your help. You'll be amazed to find that as you help others, your pain will begin to heal.
12. Don't rush things.. your healing process will take as long as you need it to take.
13. Do the above steps even if you are not in the mood or if you feel like you are just going through the motions.
14. Call me. I am a Certified Love Psychic and Life Coach. My clients call me The Love Doctor. There *IS* life and happiness after a failed relationship. Before you know it you will be living your life to its fullest!
Blessings of Light & Love!
-Lady Fontaine
I have written up a list of things to do to help ease the pain. Although when you are in deep emotional pain caused by a broken heart it may seem like the pain will never go away, but it will. In time a broken heart does mend.. and life does go on. But, what do we do in the meantime?
1. Treat yourself with kindness. Allow yourself to see the big picture. As we begin to deal with the 'loss' of the relationship we begin a grieving process. The first stages of grieving - we blame ourselves. Keep in mind that it takes two people to be in a relationship and if a relationship fails - both partners have some responsibility. A serious relationship does not end because of something trivial you said, or did. Your partner may use that as an excuse; but the roots of the problem were planted long before the final break-up. Relationships end because communication is lacking or because two people are not compatible. Sometimes relationships end because your partner isn't 'ready' to be in a relationship, needs some space, falls out of love with you or a host of other reasons. Understand and recognize that it takes 'two to tango' and if the relationship ends - not just one partner is to blame, so if you catch yourself blaming yourself, STOP!!
2. Talk to someone. A friend, a therapist, anyone who will listen. The best thing you can do is verbalize what you are feeling. The worst thing you can do is just let it brew inside of you.
3. Write the person a letter expressing your feelings and all the reasons you feel hurt; but don't mail the letter.
4. Allow yourself to feel. CRY! YELL! SHOUT! SCREAM!! Let the emotion surface and get it out! It is okay to feel miserable and gloomy - if you allow yourself to express the sadness you feel, the pain will pass quicker. There are steps of healing. At the beginning stages it is important to allow yourself to feel the pain. The first stages of healing you will blame yourself and wish you did things differently but that stage will pass. As you begin to heal, the pain turns to anger and eventually leaves. These are all normal stages of healing. There are 12-step programs designed to walk you through the stages of healing.. that is a very good place to start.
5. Pound a pillow. Yes, you heard me - this is one of the best ways to release pent up emotions.
6. Spend time with friends. Even though you may not be in the mood to be social or be with friends - do your best to spend time with friends or family. Don't allow yourself to be alone all the time.
7. Turn your attention to your career and work responsibilities, friends, your pets, etc. Find joy in your daily routine.
8. Plan your day. Sit down with pad and paper in hand. Make a list of things you have always loved to do. Jot down at least 10 items. Now, grab a calendar or appointment book.. and begin working out a schedule for yourself. Plan your day from the moment you wake up until the minute you go to sleep. Put down everything. This is an imperative step to helping you survive the initial days of a broken relationship. The goal is to fill your day completely. The worst thing is to be alone and feel lonely and abandoned.
9. Go places. Go the the library, art gallery, museum, shopping, football game.. find things to do that you have always enjoyed. I want you to go and do it! Don't worry about feeling sad, you'd be surprised - especially this time of the year the christmas carols and lights and decorations might help lift your mood. Do NOT go to places where you and your ex went - explore and find new places!
10. Decorate for the holidays. Go shopping. Plan a decorate the tree party with close friends.
11. VOLUNTEER. Call your local charities. Most of the charities will welcome your help. You'll be amazed to find that as you help others, your pain will begin to heal.
12. Don't rush things.. your healing process will take as long as you need it to take.
13. Do the above steps even if you are not in the mood or if you feel like you are just going through the motions.
14. Call me. I am a Certified Love Psychic and Life Coach. My clients call me The Love Doctor. There *IS* life and happiness after a failed relationship. Before you know it you will be living your life to its fullest!
Blessings of Light & Love!
-Lady Fontaine
How to Win at Love and Life...
The Universe has very simple rules. You ‘get’ what you feel you are ‘worthy’ of. Henry Ford said it perfectly with these words:
"If you believe you can or
You believe you can’t
--- You’re right!"
-Henry Ford
So, how do you apply this concept to your love lives? Many of your ‘deep beliefs’ are so ingrained within you that you don’t even realize you have them. Some examples are: money doesn’t grow on trees, good girls should be seen and not heard, big boys don’t cry, no one will ever love you, and a face only a mother could love. Familiar?
You’ve all been told similar things when growing up. But how do these limiting beliefs really shape your lives? It is simple and a very natural way of life. As children you want to please your parents. Your parents tell you things.. you believe it. You want the praise, love and acceptance of your parents or care-takers so you do things that you know they will approve of. After time, you begin to accept these ‘things’ as truths. For example, if you get a hug and kiss every time you stop crying.. you begin to learn that expressing emotions and crying is NOT rewarded; but to stop crying is rewarded therefore the belief may become that ‘expressing emotions is not acceptable’. Add to that, your parents tell you: ‘what a good girl’ when you stop crying, so that further reinforces to you that it is a bad thing to show emotion. Another example is.. let’s say a young boy is artistic. But, his dad wants him to play sports. He takes him outside to catch balls. Every time the boy does something that the father wants – he rewards him. ‘hey son, that was great, let’s go get ice cream’. Every time the boy does something the father does not approve of, he gets negative input: ‘Son, why are you always drawing pictures and acting like a sissy, let’s go outside and catch some balls and act like a real man!’ Over time, these words and actions become ingrained within the boy and he begins to believe them. To make matters worse, he now has this inner conflict because he wants to draw and design things, but his father wants him to do something else.. so he shoves his true desires aside and does what his dad wants him to do.. and conflict and resentment sets in. All these thoughts become a part of your belief structure. So, the boy who might have been destined to be a top architect or artist.. might grow up trying to please his father and being a mediocre macho man; instead of allowing his natural artistic qualities to blossom. The example I used above also shows why so many Americans have weight problems; as children you are rewarded for ‘eating everything on your plate’ and ‘food’ is often used as a reward (as I used as an example with the boy and the ice cream). All of these things mold and shape you into the adults you are today.
Science has not completely figured out where thoughts come from. The consensus by psychologists is your thoughts are generated by your beliefs. So, if you believe you are worthy of something, you will THINK THOUGHTS TO SUPPORT THAT BELIEF and draw it into your lives; but if you don’t; you won’t. You might wonder how you really know what thoughts are limiting you. Fortunately, it is easier than you may think. Many of you say things like.. ‘I can’t do that!’ If you catch yourself saying something like that ask yourself 2 things: 1) Can’t do what? And when you identify what it is that you ‘can’t do’.. ask yourself 2) Why? You may discover that you ‘realize’ that you can’t do it because you were always told you couldn’t.. and as you become aware of that – and consciously allow yourself to do it.. you empower yourself as you break old habits and shatter limiting beliefs. Let’s look at this example. Let’s assume that you catch a thought that says: ‘you can’t get that high paying job’ [and let’s assume this is the IDEAL job that you have you have waited your entire life for]. So, you catch the thought and ask yourself: ‘Can’t do what?’ You respond: ‘get the high paying job silly!’ You then ask yourself: ‘Why not?’ [you may have to ask yourself 10 times, 20 times, a hundred times or a million times..] but keep asking until you get an answer.. because you WILL! If you suddenly start remembering how your mom always told you ‘you can’t do that!’ hold that thought because that is the defining experience that ‘set’ your belief. As you recall your mom saying that.. reflect on what you wanted to do as a child that she told you not to do.. and imagine that you allow yourself to do it.. and that your mom is supportive that you did what you wanted! Feel the JOY of experiencing what you have wanted to experience all these years! BRAVO!!!
So, how does this all play into getting the love you deserve? Simple. You ‘allow’ yourself to have the love (money, success, attention, etc) that you feel you are worthy of. There is NO way around that. So, take a minute and look at your OUTER WORLD. Your OUTER WORLD is a REFLECTION OF YOUR INNER WORLD. What is your outer world telling you? Is your life filled with love? Money? Success? Happiness? For the majority of you.. the answer is no. And the reason is simple.. because along the way you have lost yourselves. As children you are told not to focus on your own needs – to focus on others. By doing that, you put yourselves second and IGNORE your own needs and satisfy others. The ‘energy’ that radiates to the universe is ‘I am not important’.. and the universe is actually a very powerful, nonjudgmental ‘mirror’. What you radiate.. it returns to you 100-fold++++. So, when you radiate that energy (message) to the universe that YOUR DESIRES ARE NOT IMPORTANT,, the universe sends more of that back to you. When you radiate energy (messages) to the universe that you are WORTHY.. the universe multiplies that 100+++fold and sends you more and more!
So, how do you change the energy you radiate? The first thing you need to do is realize that each thought has a duality. I work with hundreds of people each year and they tell me: But Lady Fontaine, I *AM* thinking positive.’ I then ask them to tell me what they are thinking about. They often tell me they are thinking about ‘one-day’ having a certain person in their lives, certain job, etc. If you think about some future time when life will be better for you the MESSAGE the Universe gets is: Right now.. you have NO ONE and NOTHING and the universe’s job is to provide you with that 100 fold.. so it keeps you in that energy. THE SECRET teaches you to THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS but listen very carefully to my words... ‘You can think these thoughts from now until eternity but until you truly believe them – you will remain stuck and unhappy inside.’
These are examples of some basic (but GREAT) Affirmations:
I AM HAPPY
I AM LOVED
I AM WEALTHY
But, if you really don’t believe those words; nothing will ever change. I don’t care how diligent you are in telling yourself over and over again all these positive affirmations if you don’t feel it and believe it – it won’t happen. The ONLY way to FEEL them is to DISCOVER the underlying ‘limiting’ belief and acknowledge it.
"If you believe you can or
You believe you can’t
--- You’re right!"
-Henry Ford
So, how do you apply this concept to your love lives? Many of your ‘deep beliefs’ are so ingrained within you that you don’t even realize you have them. Some examples are: money doesn’t grow on trees, good girls should be seen and not heard, big boys don’t cry, no one will ever love you, and a face only a mother could love. Familiar?
You’ve all been told similar things when growing up. But how do these limiting beliefs really shape your lives? It is simple and a very natural way of life. As children you want to please your parents. Your parents tell you things.. you believe it. You want the praise, love and acceptance of your parents or care-takers so you do things that you know they will approve of. After time, you begin to accept these ‘things’ as truths. For example, if you get a hug and kiss every time you stop crying.. you begin to learn that expressing emotions and crying is NOT rewarded; but to stop crying is rewarded therefore the belief may become that ‘expressing emotions is not acceptable’. Add to that, your parents tell you: ‘what a good girl’ when you stop crying, so that further reinforces to you that it is a bad thing to show emotion. Another example is.. let’s say a young boy is artistic. But, his dad wants him to play sports. He takes him outside to catch balls. Every time the boy does something that the father wants – he rewards him. ‘hey son, that was great, let’s go get ice cream’. Every time the boy does something the father does not approve of, he gets negative input: ‘Son, why are you always drawing pictures and acting like a sissy, let’s go outside and catch some balls and act like a real man!’ Over time, these words and actions become ingrained within the boy and he begins to believe them. To make matters worse, he now has this inner conflict because he wants to draw and design things, but his father wants him to do something else.. so he shoves his true desires aside and does what his dad wants him to do.. and conflict and resentment sets in. All these thoughts become a part of your belief structure. So, the boy who might have been destined to be a top architect or artist.. might grow up trying to please his father and being a mediocre macho man; instead of allowing his natural artistic qualities to blossom. The example I used above also shows why so many Americans have weight problems; as children you are rewarded for ‘eating everything on your plate’ and ‘food’ is often used as a reward (as I used as an example with the boy and the ice cream). All of these things mold and shape you into the adults you are today.
Science has not completely figured out where thoughts come from. The consensus by psychologists is your thoughts are generated by your beliefs. So, if you believe you are worthy of something, you will THINK THOUGHTS TO SUPPORT THAT BELIEF and draw it into your lives; but if you don’t; you won’t. You might wonder how you really know what thoughts are limiting you. Fortunately, it is easier than you may think. Many of you say things like.. ‘I can’t do that!’ If you catch yourself saying something like that ask yourself 2 things: 1) Can’t do what? And when you identify what it is that you ‘can’t do’.. ask yourself 2) Why? You may discover that you ‘realize’ that you can’t do it because you were always told you couldn’t.. and as you become aware of that – and consciously allow yourself to do it.. you empower yourself as you break old habits and shatter limiting beliefs. Let’s look at this example. Let’s assume that you catch a thought that says: ‘you can’t get that high paying job’ [and let’s assume this is the IDEAL job that you have you have waited your entire life for]. So, you catch the thought and ask yourself: ‘Can’t do what?’ You respond: ‘get the high paying job silly!’ You then ask yourself: ‘Why not?’ [you may have to ask yourself 10 times, 20 times, a hundred times or a million times..] but keep asking until you get an answer.. because you WILL! If you suddenly start remembering how your mom always told you ‘you can’t do that!’ hold that thought because that is the defining experience that ‘set’ your belief. As you recall your mom saying that.. reflect on what you wanted to do as a child that she told you not to do.. and imagine that you allow yourself to do it.. and that your mom is supportive that you did what you wanted! Feel the JOY of experiencing what you have wanted to experience all these years! BRAVO!!!
So, how does this all play into getting the love you deserve? Simple. You ‘allow’ yourself to have the love (money, success, attention, etc) that you feel you are worthy of. There is NO way around that. So, take a minute and look at your OUTER WORLD. Your OUTER WORLD is a REFLECTION OF YOUR INNER WORLD. What is your outer world telling you? Is your life filled with love? Money? Success? Happiness? For the majority of you.. the answer is no. And the reason is simple.. because along the way you have lost yourselves. As children you are told not to focus on your own needs – to focus on others. By doing that, you put yourselves second and IGNORE your own needs and satisfy others. The ‘energy’ that radiates to the universe is ‘I am not important’.. and the universe is actually a very powerful, nonjudgmental ‘mirror’. What you radiate.. it returns to you 100-fold++++. So, when you radiate that energy (message) to the universe that YOUR DESIRES ARE NOT IMPORTANT,, the universe sends more of that back to you. When you radiate energy (messages) to the universe that you are WORTHY.. the universe multiplies that 100+++fold and sends you more and more!
So, how do you change the energy you radiate? The first thing you need to do is realize that each thought has a duality. I work with hundreds of people each year and they tell me: But Lady Fontaine, I *AM* thinking positive.’ I then ask them to tell me what they are thinking about. They often tell me they are thinking about ‘one-day’ having a certain person in their lives, certain job, etc. If you think about some future time when life will be better for you the MESSAGE the Universe gets is: Right now.. you have NO ONE and NOTHING and the universe’s job is to provide you with that 100 fold.. so it keeps you in that energy. THE SECRET teaches you to THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS but listen very carefully to my words... ‘You can think these thoughts from now until eternity but until you truly believe them – you will remain stuck and unhappy inside.’
These are examples of some basic (but GREAT) Affirmations:
I AM HAPPY
I AM LOVED
I AM WEALTHY
But, if you really don’t believe those words; nothing will ever change. I don’t care how diligent you are in telling yourself over and over again all these positive affirmations if you don’t feel it and believe it – it won’t happen. The ONLY way to FEEL them is to DISCOVER the underlying ‘limiting’ belief and acknowledge it.
To WANT or Not to Want - THAT *IS* the Question!
What are the things you most want? Love? Romance? Success? Fame? Money? Health? Happiness? If you 'want' these things, most likely you don't have them in your life. Why? Because the action of 'wanting something' keeps it just out of reach.
In order to manifest love, money, health, happiness and all the things you desire – you MUST learn to think and speak in the 'Language of the Universe'. Every thought you think has 2 sides; a positive and a negative. So when you 'want' something, what message do you think you are sending to the Universe? You are actually telling the universe you don't have it and the Universe hears that as your 'wish' (not having it) and keeps sending you more of 'not having it' thus keeping what you want just our of your reach. The Universe doesn’t translate or judge; it will give you what you ask for. So, the challenge is to learn how to ask the RIGHT way to manifest your dreams and desires.
I work with hundreds of people every year.. both as a psychic and a Life Coach. My clients always hear me speak about the importance of learning how to 'ask' and 'how to frame our thoughts' TO ATTRACT blessings into our lives. In the spiritual realm – like attracts like. So, it is important to send out a message to the Universe of 'contentment' and 'GRATITUDE' and the Universe will send you an endless supply of things to be grateful for. My clients often tell me that they are thinking positive thoughts yet they continue to manifest 'lack' in their lives. So, I often ask them to keep a ‘thought journal’ and give me examples. Here are some of those examples:
Stan is a client who was trying to manifest money into his life for countless years before meeting me. He was recently shopping and found himself thinking:
"Darn, I have to win the lottery – I just don’t have enough money to pay for everything."
He caught himself thinking that thought but he told me, ‘But, Lady Fontaine I am thinking positive thoughts and I am telling the universe what I want’. The words above are telling the universe that Dan doesn’t have sufficient money to pay for his basics.. and the universe’s primary job is to HEAR WHAT WE ASK FOR and to GIVE US MORE! So, what will the universe deliver? More ‘lack’ of money rather than more money!
Renee has been a client for many years. She had on-going financial and love problems. She had been doing positive affirmations for over 10 years and is a strong believer of positive thinking. Until she met me she was not able to manifest the things she truly wanted. I asked her to keep a journal of her ‘thoughts’.
‘I wish I could meet a wonderful man and live happily ever after.’
‘I wish my company would appreciate me more and that I would become a Sr VP in the next 5 years’.
Hmm.. on the surface these look like positive thoughts. But, keep in mind the duality of thoughts. So what does the Universe hear? Let’s break it down. The Universe deals with the NOW.. not the future.. so the universe translates that to mean that RIGHT NOW Renee has NO ONE in her life. And, what did we say is the primary function of the Universe? To receive our ‘requests’ multiply them and send us more of what we ask for. So, what does Renee get back? More lack.. She didn’t have the TRUE LOVE in her life nor the job she wanted UNTIL she changed her thoughts.
When you ask for the things you desire.. the universe hears your 'request' loud and clear, magnifies it and sends you more.. plain and simple! The Universe understands 'wishing' as 'not having' and sent her lots more of not having a wonderful man in her life. As for her job request above – Renee is 100% certain that she will ONE DAY get her salary increase and become Sr VP in the future and that is where the universe keeps it. Just out of reach. The Universe deals with the NOW. In the Seth Books (channeled to Jane Roberts) we learned that the moment of power is in the NOW!!! So, in order for the Universe to understand that either of those requests is meant to deliver LOVE and MONEY into your life now - they need to be reworded into something like the following:
* I AM THANKFUL FOR THE LOVE AND HAPPINESS I CURRENTLY EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE NOW
* I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE AND MY ABILITY TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND WEALTHY
* I LOVE MY JOB AND I AM GRATEFUL TO HAVE IT
Now those are just a couple of possibilities.. there are countless other ways to word to your desires into your life. But, the commonality of those positive affirmations/thoughts above is the feeling of being grateful.
POWER EXERCISE: Use your imagination! If you desire a new job - IMAGINE HAVING THE JOB OF YOUR DREAMS. What does it feel like? What time would you get up in the morning? How would you spend your day? Use your imagination to fuel that thought!! The power of imagination is HUGE! Add to that appreciation and gratefulness and you have the most powerful equation for success and happiness. If you desire love or a relationship, use that same power of imagination to picture yourself living that relationship happily. Be grateful for it. If you have doubts like 'this'll never work' then you are right, it won't.
WANTING: Here is the definition of 'want' from Merriam-Webster's diction:
(check on-line - I cut and pasted this right from their on-line dictionary!)
intransitive verb
1: to be needy or destitute
2: to have or feel need [never wants for friends]
3: to be necessary or needed
4: to desire to come, go, or be [the cat wants in] [wants out of the deal]transitive verb
1: to fail to possess especially in customary or required amount : lack [the answer wanted courtesy
2 a: to have a strong desire for [wanted a chance to rest] b: to have an inclination to : like [say what you want, he is efficient]
3 a: to have need of : require [the motor wants a tune-up] b: to suffer from the lack of [thousands still want food and shelter]
etc etc
How many of those definitions spur thoughts of love,
prosperity and abundance to you?
Now, here is the definition of HAVE:
transitive verb
1 a: to hold or maintain as a possession, privilege, or entitlement [they have a new car] [I have my rights]
b: to hold in one's use, service, regard, or at one's disposal [the group will have enough tickets for everyone>][we don't have time to stay]
"Based on this - which would you prefer for yourself? Wanting or Having?"
Use your words and thoughts carefully!!!
If you don’t currently have the true love of your life.. instead of cursing ex-boyfriends and girlfriends.. be THANKFUL for the time they were in your life. Be thankful for the experiences you shared. If you don’t currently have a job or the job of your dreams.. GIVE THANKS TO WHAT YOU DO HAVE.. and the universe will deliver more. So, let’s take the example of not having a job right now. How can we focus on a positive message to the universe so the universe will send us blessings? A couple examples are below:
* I am thankful for my ability to earn money
* I am thankful for the wonderful work experiences I've had [this one is focused on gratitude]
* I am thankful for the job opportunities that are entering into my life'
* I am thankful for the business contacts I have
Give thanks and appreciation for the things in your life.. and you will draw in positive experiences into your life that mirrors your gratitude.
The Universe has Rules.. and the Rules Say it will multiply what you ask for.. and send you more. So, learn to speak the Language of the Universe and Get Everything You Desire!
In order to manifest love, money, health, happiness and all the things you desire – you MUST learn to think and speak in the 'Language of the Universe'. Every thought you think has 2 sides; a positive and a negative. So when you 'want' something, what message do you think you are sending to the Universe? You are actually telling the universe you don't have it and the Universe hears that as your 'wish' (not having it) and keeps sending you more of 'not having it' thus keeping what you want just our of your reach. The Universe doesn’t translate or judge; it will give you what you ask for. So, the challenge is to learn how to ask the RIGHT way to manifest your dreams and desires.
I work with hundreds of people every year.. both as a psychic and a Life Coach. My clients always hear me speak about the importance of learning how to 'ask' and 'how to frame our thoughts' TO ATTRACT blessings into our lives. In the spiritual realm – like attracts like. So, it is important to send out a message to the Universe of 'contentment' and 'GRATITUDE' and the Universe will send you an endless supply of things to be grateful for. My clients often tell me that they are thinking positive thoughts yet they continue to manifest 'lack' in their lives. So, I often ask them to keep a ‘thought journal’ and give me examples. Here are some of those examples:
Stan is a client who was trying to manifest money into his life for countless years before meeting me. He was recently shopping and found himself thinking:
"Darn, I have to win the lottery – I just don’t have enough money to pay for everything."
He caught himself thinking that thought but he told me, ‘But, Lady Fontaine I am thinking positive thoughts and I am telling the universe what I want’. The words above are telling the universe that Dan doesn’t have sufficient money to pay for his basics.. and the universe’s primary job is to HEAR WHAT WE ASK FOR and to GIVE US MORE! So, what will the universe deliver? More ‘lack’ of money rather than more money!
Renee has been a client for many years. She had on-going financial and love problems. She had been doing positive affirmations for over 10 years and is a strong believer of positive thinking. Until she met me she was not able to manifest the things she truly wanted. I asked her to keep a journal of her ‘thoughts’.
‘I wish I could meet a wonderful man and live happily ever after.’
‘I wish my company would appreciate me more and that I would become a Sr VP in the next 5 years’.
Hmm.. on the surface these look like positive thoughts. But, keep in mind the duality of thoughts. So what does the Universe hear? Let’s break it down. The Universe deals with the NOW.. not the future.. so the universe translates that to mean that RIGHT NOW Renee has NO ONE in her life. And, what did we say is the primary function of the Universe? To receive our ‘requests’ multiply them and send us more of what we ask for. So, what does Renee get back? More lack.. She didn’t have the TRUE LOVE in her life nor the job she wanted UNTIL she changed her thoughts.
When you ask for the things you desire.. the universe hears your 'request' loud and clear, magnifies it and sends you more.. plain and simple! The Universe understands 'wishing' as 'not having' and sent her lots more of not having a wonderful man in her life. As for her job request above – Renee is 100% certain that she will ONE DAY get her salary increase and become Sr VP in the future and that is where the universe keeps it. Just out of reach. The Universe deals with the NOW. In the Seth Books (channeled to Jane Roberts) we learned that the moment of power is in the NOW!!! So, in order for the Universe to understand that either of those requests is meant to deliver LOVE and MONEY into your life now - they need to be reworded into something like the following:
* I AM THANKFUL FOR THE LOVE AND HAPPINESS I CURRENTLY EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE NOW
* I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE AND MY ABILITY TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND WEALTHY
* I LOVE MY JOB AND I AM GRATEFUL TO HAVE IT
Now those are just a couple of possibilities.. there are countless other ways to word to your desires into your life. But, the commonality of those positive affirmations/thoughts above is the feeling of being grateful.
POWER EXERCISE: Use your imagination! If you desire a new job - IMAGINE HAVING THE JOB OF YOUR DREAMS. What does it feel like? What time would you get up in the morning? How would you spend your day? Use your imagination to fuel that thought!! The power of imagination is HUGE! Add to that appreciation and gratefulness and you have the most powerful equation for success and happiness. If you desire love or a relationship, use that same power of imagination to picture yourself living that relationship happily. Be grateful for it. If you have doubts like 'this'll never work' then you are right, it won't.
WANTING: Here is the definition of 'want' from Merriam-Webster's diction:
(check on-line - I cut and pasted this right from their on-line dictionary!)
intransitive verb
1: to be needy or destitute
2: to have or feel need [never wants for friends]
3: to be necessary or needed
4: to desire to come, go, or be [the cat wants in] [wants out of the deal]transitive verb
1: to fail to possess especially in customary or required amount : lack [the answer wanted courtesy
2 a: to have a strong desire for [wanted a chance to rest] b: to have an inclination to : like [say what you want, he is efficient]
3 a: to have need of : require [the motor wants a tune-up] b: to suffer from the lack of [thousands still want food and shelter]
etc etc
How many of those definitions spur thoughts of love,
prosperity and abundance to you?
Now, here is the definition of HAVE:
transitive verb
1 a: to hold or maintain as a possession, privilege, or entitlement [they have a new car] [I have my rights]
b: to hold in one's use, service, regard, or at one's disposal [the group will have enough tickets for everyone>][we don't have time to stay]
"Based on this - which would you prefer for yourself? Wanting or Having?"
Use your words and thoughts carefully!!!
If you don’t currently have the true love of your life.. instead of cursing ex-boyfriends and girlfriends.. be THANKFUL for the time they were in your life. Be thankful for the experiences you shared. If you don’t currently have a job or the job of your dreams.. GIVE THANKS TO WHAT YOU DO HAVE.. and the universe will deliver more. So, let’s take the example of not having a job right now. How can we focus on a positive message to the universe so the universe will send us blessings? A couple examples are below:
* I am thankful for my ability to earn money
* I am thankful for the wonderful work experiences I've had [this one is focused on gratitude]
* I am thankful for the job opportunities that are entering into my life'
* I am thankful for the business contacts I have
Give thanks and appreciation for the things in your life.. and you will draw in positive experiences into your life that mirrors your gratitude.
The Universe has Rules.. and the Rules Say it will multiply what you ask for.. and send you more. So, learn to speak the Language of the Universe and Get Everything You Desire!
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