Friends with Benefits - Does it work?

There have been several studies done on Friends with Benefits Relationships which involve surveys of thousands of college students. These are recent surveys (2007). Based on these studies only 10% of friends with benefits relationships turn into romantic relationships. Approximately 1/3 of those surveyed drop the benefits part and end up as just friends. 1/4 dropped the friendship all together and approximately 1/3 of the friends with benefits continued indefinitely. Amazingly, over 75% of those surveyed in friends with benefits relationships did not have 'relationship' discussions with their partner after entering into this type of arrangement.

According to this 2007 study by Michigan State University those 'friends' who were able to talk openly and honestly before entering a friends with benefits relationship often breaks down and very little communication ensues. While not statistically significant, this study showed that “men focus on the benefits, women on the friends” aspect of the friends with benefits relationship.

So, why do singles enter into these relationships? Usually loneliness or the desire to create something more than just friends. These relationships appear 'safe' on the surface and participants often feel that it is better than just sleeping around. Engaging in a 'friends with benefits' arrangement allows for the physical gratification of a relationship without the commitment. These relationships offer what appears to be the best of both worlds where both partners lead their own lives and are not obligated to the other; which sounds enticing to some but so often one of the partners secretly craves for more. Friends with benefits relationships usually doesn't work out for either party. These arrangements often do not produce lasting or meaningful results and tend to run their course very quickly.

Women and some men have difficulty with physical intimacy without the emotional connection. This can set up one or both individuals for more than they initially bargained for. For women this type of relationship is much harder to maintain because of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone and neurotransmitter, released during orgasm. It is the same hormone released in higher dose when a woman gives birth. So, for women to maintain a casual relationship when there is sex involved chemically works against the dynamics of her hormones and body.